


Seasons of the Light- Season 15

by Kirabaros



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drama, F/M, Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:55:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 33,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22913578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirabaros/pseuds/Kirabaros
Summary: Down to the finish line. The end is near and the gates of hell have been opened. It is literal hell on earth and Sam, Dean, Angela and their friends march forward to fight against the chaos Chuck sowed. One shot tags of Season 15. Set in the Chronicles of Absolution verse.
Relationships: Sam Winchester/Angela (OFC), Sam Winchester/Original Female Character(s)





	1. 15.01 Back and to the Future's Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end is near and the Winchesters and Angela have work to do. Already she's breaking into her arsenal and an old friend is back. Tag to Back and to the Future.

The ghost shrieked as Angela threw her chakram at it. It ghosted and she held her hand for it to return. In her left, she held a shotgun while herding a small group of people out of town. Her gaze scanned the area as she backed them up until she heard a scream. Whirling she turned and saw another ghost. She flung the chakram and sent it packing. It was then that she felt the rumble.

On the ground, it was like a red wave pulsing through the street. She watched as it moved to create the boundary. Seemed that the demon was useful. For now. She beckoned the people to head to the other side. It was a good thing too since other ghosts were appearing and out for blood.

She normally would have taken them on to buy a few minutes but even she knew that the odds were not in her favor. Still, she was the one with the weapon and she yelled for them to run. She used the shotgun to increase the distance before she had to turn tail and run. It felt like something out of those old movies where they were almost swallowed whole or something like that.

The spell worked and the ghosts looked pissed at being contained. Angela stared at them for some time before turning to get the people to safety. She got the feeling that this was a precursor for what was to come. She thought about it as she stood by the Impala and watched the people evacuate into the high school. Her focus was on the children and she immediately thought of her own baby at the bunker, the place she called home.

She knew that Sherlock and Amitiel were looking after the baby and Kesset and his family had taken up residence there recently. There were plenty of people there, but she wasn’t a fool. She had seen plenty of what large scale war and disaster did. She really didn’t know if she was going to see her baby again and she didn’t know if Sam would either.

She sensed that something was off with Sam. He didn’t say much but she knew that something was up. He still didn’t like to make her worry despite her saying that she worried more when she didn’t know. She still respected him and his choices. She knew he tried, but this felt different. When he was near her, there was something that sent her senses tingling and not in the good way. It stirred up things long forgotten.

“So what do you think? I’m pretty useful, don’t you think?”

Angela shifted to look at the demon that was occupying Jack’s body. She raised her brow like he was a bothersome fly, which he was. However, beggars couldn’t be choosers when it came to trying to fix a problem like the end of the world. She had plenty of experience in that area. She replied, “About as useful as a fly in manure.”

“Ooo Ouch,” the demon replied. “I heard you were a heavy hitter.”

“I’ve done plenty,” she replied as she watched Sam walk a few people into the high school. “Some involve a permanent solution.” She eyed the demon with a wry expression.

“Hey, I helped. Doesn’t that count for something?”

“In another life maybe.”

“Tough crowd.” The demon looked down before continuing, “Look… I know you don’t think much of me.”

“You’re right on that note.”

“But I happen to like the order of things. As I said… I like my job. What happened… threw it to shits. I’m sure you hate it too.”

Angela looked at the demon. It was easy to look at the body as a demon and not Jack. Having the glasses made a difference. It _felt_ different. She didn’t say anything but stared at the demon. She didn’t like what was happening and she aimed to fix it one way or another. She’d fix it and go home to her baby.

The demon felt uncomfortable with her stare and figured most beings were. He heard the stories and he was getting a first-hand experience. He tried another tactic, “I really admire your work. And that’s saying something. I know all about you. Well, at least the stories from your days in hell. All three times.”

“Not helping your case here.”

“The point is… I don’t like what’s going on any more than you. I want to help you and the Winchesters. I know there are a few things about you they don’t know. I can help find them.”

“No.”

“Come on. You and I both know that this requires everything.” The demon realized he was not going down the right road with this and took a step back. “Look, I’m not threatening you. I know you’re different from before. It’s similar to the trench coat wearing angel, but not quite.”

Angela stared at the demon. She always knew that it would get out one way or another. That someone would guess what was going on. Sam tried to keep it a secret and played it off as a new technique or something. It wasn’t going to last and if a low level torture demon figured out a few things or was playing odds… “For one who punches a clock, you seem awfully nosy.”

“Well… I’m a fan of yours and Dean’s work when you in hell.”

Angela snorted and looked away. She was never proud of her time in hell and what she had done. She knew it gnawed at Dean still. They never really talked about it, but they understood one another. She crossed her arms over her chest.

The demon knew she was a tough nut to crack. The things he admired, she wasn’t impressed with and made it clear. He said, “I do promise that I’ll find another body. You have my word.”

“Doesn’t mean much coming from a demon.”

“But I haven’t done anything to challenge that right?”

Angela looked at the demon. She looked away. She thought about things for a moment. She glanced over at Sam as Dean was cleaning the injury to his shoulder. When Dean applied the antiseptic, she winced. And it had her frowning.

She had felt Sam’s pain before and vice versa. Part and parcel of their unique bond to each other. They learned how to mute it so it didn’t affect the other. When Dean touched the wound though, it sent a white hot chill up her spine. In her mind, she saw flashes and it stirred up old memories and feelings. They were in public so, she did her best to hide it.

“I thought that was a myth.”

Angela looked at the demon and narrowed her eyes, “What?”

“The whole bond thing between you and Sam over there. It’s cool by the way. Heard stories of demon pairs able to do the same thing.”

Angela raised her brow in a glare. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah… sure.” The demon moved to stand close. “Look, I’m not interested in exploiting it. You’d probably kill me first before I tried.”

“Another point for you.”

“Point is… I know something’s going on. If I can see your reaction then I bet, he knows something’s wrong.” The demon gestured in Sam’s direction. “And if I see it… a few others might. Something you might want to keep hidden.”

“You’re preaching a lesson that we’ve been doing long before you entered the picture.”

“But now… matched pairs are pretty valuable. Just a thought.” The demon shrugged.

Angela shook her head and moved away. The trouble was that what he said didn’t go away. Something was wrong and Sam wasn’t talking. Something happened when he and Castiel went to the other side of town to help people. Neither of them seemed inclined to say anything. She could still feel that tingle down her spine. It was nothing like when she monitored Dean when he had the Mark of Cain or anything that would cause a reaction.

It was scary to admit that whatever Chuck did, it was a new and possibly dangerous territory. She couldn’t help but wonder if that was why things were set in motion. That Hibah be the one to find her residual grace and release it. That she did the things she did and wielded both Chalikar and Absolution. How much of it was free will and how much of it was Chuck screwing with them?

They were questions with no answers, but they seemed to be partially answered. It was not expected that she and Sam had a baby together. Chuck had been surprised at that. So maybe not all of it was his doing. It was enough to make a person dizzy. At the moment though, they had a problem that needed fixing.

The story they told about a pipeline leak would buy them two days at most. After that… they would be questioned if caught. A lot to do in a short timeframe. It seemed like old times for her. She could recall a few instances of that happening. And it always involved conflict or war and the usual staving off disaster.

Sighing, she walked over to the trunk of the Impala. She gave tentative smiles to the brothers. They had been together for over a decade, saw things through thick and thin. They fought and disagreed, but they were still family. They were all that they needed to stay strong.

But there was strength in numbers. Angela looked in the direction of the town. Her thoughts were dwelling on what started as a little flame. Three billion souls in hell set free. There was a lot of work to do. And they were going to need all the help they could get.

She pulled out Absolution from the trunk and few other odds and ends that she could put on in the car. She had always been one to have her gear with her when she was in the car. Call it being prepared or something. Maybe it was paranoia. It was just something that she did, and the brothers were used to it.

“You up to this, Angie?”

Angela looked at Dean and then at Sam. She could sense his apprehension and pain from his shoulder. She also sensed that flicker of hope. She fingered the hilt of Absolution and replied, “Dealing with the fact that the gates of Hell had been thrown open and battling against all odds against three billion damned souls… sounds like fun.” She gave a grin.

It was enough to get both brothers to give a slight smile. Sam was the one that said, “We have two days at most to pull this off for the town.”

That was the cue she needed. There really was no time to be squeamish. They may have to use everything in the arsenal if they were to do this. Right the wrongs caused by Chuck. She shifted and looked at them. “Then we better call in back up.”

“Who?”

Dean was naturally gruff in his tones. When he was stressed or exhausted it became more emphasized. Angela knew that this was a fate of the world thing on their shoulders. “The one thing that a damned soul fears the most.”

Both brothers looked at each other. Sam got it first. “Hellhounds?”

“Yes.”

Dean was his normal self as he asked, “You wanna summon a bunch of hell hounds topside? The same bitches that don’t give up once they latch onto their target?”

“Pretty much.”

They were used to the matter of fact tone when she was talking strategy. It was always the same. One protested and the other said to trust her. Granted it was always Sam that supported her, there were times he thought her ideas were bad ones and voiced it. She wouldn’t have it any other way and it was how she operated as the great tactician everyone knew her as.

“Okay then,” Dean said, “How are you gonna do that?”

“You’re serious?” Sam looked visibly alarmed. “Dean, we’re talking about _all_ the hellhounds.”

“Not all. Just specific ones,” Angela explained.

“What do you mean?”

Angela looked at Dean and gave that playful smirk that said she would show and tell but he had to trust her. She walked away from the car and turned to look at them. She closed her eyes and started reciting in ancient Greek the spell she knew. It would be difficult, but she was certain. When she finished, her eyes opened, vamped out as glittering jewels as she said, “I summon you.”

There was a howl and it was easy to see everyone tense up. Even the demon inhabiting Jack’s body tensed. No one could mistake the howl of a hell hound. Angela though wasn’t moved by it. She just stood there. Until it was evident there was one behind her. Its breath blew her hair from behind. Sam and Dean’s reaction was visible as she said, “Reveal yourself.”

It was thought that he was dead. Well the Winchesters did and technically he was. His mortal form was. Cerebus stepped forward in his full size but with one head. He whined and gave a nudge to Angela’s shoulder.

“Cerebus,” Sam breathed.

“The line of Cerebus,” Angela corrected as other hell hounds appeared. They all looked familiar. They were the offspring of the guardian of the gates of Tartarus.

It was startling for the Winchesters to see their first Wilder dogs appear followed by those that lived and died. Angela looked at them as they rallied on her. They answered the alpha’s call to arms and duty. She looked at them. “Time to get to work.”


	2. 15.02 Raising Hell's Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seems like Amara wants a talk with Angela and reveals a secret or two. Tag to Raising Hell.

They were outnumbered. She knew that going in. Three billion condemned souls were roaming free. The ones that Rowena captured were miniscule compared to the ones that were flying over them. They were like little lights in the sky as she stared up with the boys and Rowena. They really had their work cut out for him even with the hell hounds of Cerebus’ line. She gave a sharp intake of breath.

It was sudden when she found herself in a room. It looked like the motel rooms she had stayed in with the boys. Looking closely, the room was a little more high end and had a smell to it that she recognized. She made a slight face as she looked around.

“I guess you are used to this.”

Angela turned around, not expecting to see the one person that she owed much to for her baby being born alive and well. She stood there and replied, “If you mean being removed from somewhere while in the middle of something… yes I am.”

Amara chuckled as she looked at the woman in front of her. It was clear she still didn’t remember their time before now. She had always liked her and couldn’t help but smile as she advanced towards the woman. “You aren’t even going to ask me why?”

Angela eyed Amara as she stood there. She looked at the woman as she replied, “I figured that you would tell me. Most beings usually do when they want something from me.”

Amara chuckled and looked away. She shook her head as she replied, “He really doesn’t know you at all despite creating you.”

“If you mean Chuck, we aren’t talking.” Angela stood there with her hands to her sides. It was clear that she was exhausted from the recent events, but she wasn’t going to let anyone know it. “You could say he’s shit listed.”

Amara gave a slight shake of her head with a bemused expression. She was piecing things together and getting a clearer picture of what was going on. She paced in front of her and looked at the woman. “So, this little mess…”

“In simple terms,” Angela replied as she crossed her arms over her chest, “He threw a temper tantrum because one of his ‘toys’ didn’t want to do what he wanted them to do.”

“I kind of figured,” Amara replied with a slight smirk as she walked away. She turned and looked at Angela. “He came to see me, you know.”

Angela stared at Amara. “No, I didn’t.”

Amara hummed in amusement at the correction. She looked at Angela. “He did. Saying something about us needing to stick together.”

“More like consolidate forces since he knows I am going after him. For what he did to Jack.”

Amara gave a slight nod, and there it was. Of course her brother would have done something to piss off his favorite of… well she wasn’t an angel anymore. Still, it was rather amusing to see. “I guess my brother has a right to be afraid. From what I learned about you, you really know how to scare even the most powerful beings.” She had turned to walk and stand toe to toe with Angela.

“I just don’t hold them in awe,” Angela replied, “I give respect where it’s due.” She looked at Amara, “Are you going to tell me why you brought me here?”

Amara smirked at Angela, “You always were one to get to business. One of the few things I like about you.” She walked over to where her yoga mat was and looked at it. She knew that this would turn the balance of things, but it was high time the woman in front learned the truth about a few of those things. “Something happened to him. There is something… different about him.”

Angela looked at Amara. She had lowered her arms and looked at the goddess. Her brow was raised slightly as she replied, “Probably because of the gun he created. His equalizer.”

_I see he didn’t think things through at all._

Amara kept her thoughts to herself as she turned to look at Angela. “And I guess it was used on him.”

“And what affects the person shot, affects the shooter. My mate.” Angela looked at Amara, just standing there. She hadn’t moved from her spot. It was one of those stray thoughts about those movies where something happens to the guy that moves. That and she didn’t know what advantage, if there was any, she had.

“That explains a little, but no matter. He’s on his own for this one.”

“That doesn’t explain why I’m here.” Angela eyed the goddess suspiciously. The last time she was in front of the goddess in a similar position was when Amara taunted her and threatened to hurt her mate.

“I’m getting to that,” Amara almost simpered. She had adapted to living in this world quite well and she liked it. “I’m not helping him, but I figured I’d help you. Give you peace of mind.”

“What do you mean?”

Amara took in the suspicious look. She liked Angela a lot and the fact that she was willing to listen while being cautious was impressive. She smiled at the dhampir, “Why, your baby of course. I know she was born. I promised she would be born safely.”

Angela felt her hackles raise, “What do you want with my baby?”

“Relax. I’m not going to hurt her. I want to give my protection over her.”

Angela eyed Amara with suspicion. The last gift was one done in gratitude. This seemed more like helping the goddess get one up on her brother. She didn’t like where that would lead. So, she asked the question, “What is the price?”

“Excuse me?”

“Price,” Angela repeated. She had bowed slightly for emphasis when she said it. “Usually for something like that, there is always a price associated with it.” She made a slight gesture like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Amara frowned slightly at that but nevertheless she couldn’t help but grin slightly. She nodded, “Still the same. You were never a fool. Never accepted much at face value.”

“I do try to give benefit of the doubt. Not so much when I’ve been burned by the person.”

Amara chuckled at that. She looked at the warrior woman before her. “I’m not asking a price. Consider it finding favor.”

“I already have that.”

“Mm yes. The Egyptians. Made you family.” She gestured at the mark on Angela’s hand. “You are royalty in every sense despite being a mortal. A testament to the fact that you are literally not from this world.”

“I’m not an angel. Not anymore.”

“Who do you think persuaded the little goddess that releasing that grace into was the best choice?” Amara had come up behind Angela like she had before. She hadn’t meant to sound taunting.

Angela felt her eyes widened slightly. She turned slightly to look at the goddess. She raised her brow, “ _You_ put the idea into a prepubescent goddess’ head that to release something that should have been lost and forgotten? Why would you do that?”

“I could say something like it’s because I’m God’s sister, but that would just annoy the hell out of you.” Amara smirked at Angela. “I’ve asked around and the stories are quite amusing. So much like I remember and yet very different.”

“I know. I amuse everyone. I fight even when I have a snowball’s chance.” Angela looked at the goddess with a deadpan expression. She had crossed her arms over her chest again. She looked around and took a breath before asking, “So are you done? Because I have to go back and try to save the world from the pettiness of an asshat.”

Amara wanted to laugh. Not because it literally was a snowball’s chance with the woman’s goals, but the fact that despite that, she was fighting odds and dared to be insulting about her brother in front of her. She didn’t though. She got a clear picture and while she wasn’t really going to help in the larger sense of the word, she would do a few things.

Angela stared at the goddess, well aware that Amara was powerful enough to end her life. Yet, like with most encounters, she didn’t care. She gave her thoughts. She did first respectfully and then, when things were the shits, she laid it out and didn’t care if she hurt feelings. She looked at the goddess with a firm look that showed she wasn’t in the mood for games.

“No.” Amara took a few steps forward and looked at Angela. She narrowed her eyes slightly, “The grace is a bit unstable. Let’s fix that.”

Before Angela could say anything, Amara touched her on her chest where her heart was. She felt the jolt and gasped slightly. She stepped back and rubbed the area. It tingled slightly but she wasn’t sure if it was in the good way or the bad way. She could have gone with the first question of asking what the goddess did, but that was redundant. Instead, she asked, “Why? You said you weren’t choosing a side.”

“I’m not helping my brother, nor am I helping you. You as in your group.” Amara made a slight gesture to clarify. “But I am making as you are fond of saying, contingency.” She stood toe to toe with Angela and looked the woman in the eye, “I’ve had a feeling about you since the moment we met here. Something about you shouted that events would circle around you and the Winchesters. I want to see how that plays out.”

Angela stared at the goddess. She wasn’t quite buying it. She had been around the block to know that nothing came without a price. She just wasn’t going to voice it since the goddess said there wasn’t a price and probably wouldn’t give an answer if she asked.

“Besides,” Amara continued with a slight smirk, “I could no more kill you than I could Dean. Our connection.” She gestured towards her mark.”

Angela glanced at it before looking at the goddess, “Maybe so, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get someone else to do it.”

“True.” Amara shrugged before sobering and her expression became serious. “I like this world your humans have created. And I know you care more about them than the larger picture of things.”

“They don’t have the sense. Innocents, more or less, caught in the crossfire.”

“Exactly. Releasing your lost grace and enhancing your gifts was not meant to be a curse but an advantage for things to come. You could say, you have my favor.”

“Not sure about that.”

“Still trying to figure out motive huh?” Amara chuckled as she explained, “I’m not helping my brother, nor you. Just revealing the tools you have at your disposal. It’s up to you how you fight it.” She became serious but her expression softened, “I will say this, you children will be protected should something happen.”

Before Angela could say anything, she found herself back in the clearing. She could see hundreds of spirits coming at them. She looked around and noticed that it seemed no one noticed that she had been gone. She didn’t have time to think about that though. She had more important things to do. Like return the souls of the damned to hell. She narrowed her eyes as she channeled her powers and she could hear the snarls of the hell hounds she had summoned. Hell’s lights were raised.


	3. 15.03 Light's Rupture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rowena has her own thoughts as she makes her plans to save the world. Tag to The Rupture.

_The horn may be your last shot, but not mine._

If the circumstances had been different, Rowena would have laughed at the expression the woman in front of her was giving. There was a time when she would have done anything to faze or make angry the woman that stood before her. But after the whole thing with Jack… things were different. Rowena saw what she once called a murderer in a different light.

It was no secret that Rowena and the Malachi were on the opposite sides of things. Rowena believed in prophecy and magic and didn’t really care who she hurt to become what she was. The Malachi… she was given power but refused to use it. Even when odds were stacked against her, she would rather fight much like her companions. It irked Rowena that she professed so much love for people in general and then all the destruction… It was enough to set them up as enemies.

Then there was Jack.

Rowena got a different view of the woman who was the definition of heaven and hell’s fury the night she figuratively got on both knees and begged her to help Jack. Granted Jack’s personality swayed her, the witch couldn’t forget the look of gratitude, kindness and love the Malachi showed her. That last one baffled her most of all. After everything, the Malachi showed her love. It showed when she comforted her after the horror and the anger and rage she felt when she failed in her attempt to strengthen the walls. It was why she approached her first with this.

“What are you saying?”

It was then Rowena showed the Malachi the page from the Book of the Damned. She didn’t have to explain what was written. The Malachi knew enough to know and her expression showed it. Rowena said, “Consider it a backup plan. Contingency.”

Rowena didn’t expect the reaction. Well, she should have. The Malachi was all about love and kindness, the virtues of man embodied. At least that was what her Samuel liked to say. It surprised the witch at the sudden flow of tears and the refusal. It was enough for her to say, “Now I know the Malachi of Absolution would not just say no to an opportunity and probably the last choice.”

“There is always a choice, Rowena. Three strikes and you’re not out.”

“Again with the baseball metaphors.”

“Honest truth.”

It was enough for them both to share a chuckle. It also allowed Rowena to pull herself together and explain, “Belphagor’s way may work, but you of all people should know that there is always a catch.”

The look on the Malachi’s face was answer enough for the witch, “More than you know. Probably the same as you.”

It had been a dig at Rowena’s age but made in jest since they were both very old. Rowena couldn’t help but smile at the woman. It became sad when she said, “I believe in magic. I believe in its power and I believe that this… may be the only way.”

Rowena was ready for the protests and held off the Malachi saying, “I’ve done things but… I’ve grown fond of your Samuel and your little bairn. She deserves to have her family with her.”

“She would feel your death, Rowena.”

“She’s so special.” Tears were threatening but eventually Rowena managed to relay her reasons. She had the Malachi ready to agree. She just needed one thing. She looked at the woman and said, “There is one thing.”

“What?”

“I want your permission to have Samuel be the one that kills me.”

Again, if had been any other time, Rowena would have laughed at the expression on the Malachi’s face. Rather, she nodded and reaffirmed her request. Of course it led to the Malachi being an inquisitor and asking about her reasons. She knew the Malachi knew about Death’s books and that her end would be at Sam’s hands. That was what the whole inquisition was about and she was sure the Malachi found it odd that she, Rowena, was asking for permission.

“I don’t have anyone else that I care about to do it, but I have grown fond of Samuel… your bairn… and you.”

It took a bit, but Rowena finally had the Malachi agree and give her permission. Rowena knew that the Malachi’s word was bond, but she wanted some reassurance when she asked, “I know your word is bond, but I want you to swear it. Swear on the name of your goddess.”

Rowena knew she was asking a lot from that and an oath sworn like that. She just wanted to make sure that no matter what…

“In the name of Isis, the mother of the living dead, I swear to you Rowena that I will see your spell carried out if and when it is done.”

Rowena didn’t expect that. She figured that the Malachi would refuse, but she did it. To top it off, she didn’t expect the hug from the Malachi. She had forgotten how affectionate the woman could be and it seemed more so that she was a mother. It wasn’t like the witch could reject it and the woman did comfort her after the failed spell attempt. Little did she know that it would mean much more.

As it turned out, something went wrong with the search for the Crook. Rowena knew that she had to do it, which was why she insisted that Sam be the one with her when she did the spell to sew the tear into hell shut. She didn’t expect the Malachi to show up.

Rowena knew that Dean was unprotected and she worded it so the Malachi would go and protect him. Both Winchesters completed the Malachi and to have one without the other… she was not going to endure a lifetime of moping from that woman. Plus, she knew the Malachi had been powered up in some way. Sam didn’t elaborate except to say she was an apex hunter, whatever that meant. In simple terms, she was qualified to look after Dean.

It was a complete surprise when the Malachi showed up right when Sam refused to use the knife on her. The only thing that indicated her presence was the woman’s soft voice say, “It’ll be okay, Sam.”

Rowena wasn’t going to pretend she understood love. She could admit to infatuation, lust and other words. Maybe she felt some affection for her Fergus, but in that moment, she saw another meaning the way how the Malachi was looking at Sam and standing by her side. It was like she was telling Sam that she was okay with it and agreeing with Rowena. It was complicated to explain, but it was there and it enabled Sam to plunge the knife in her stomach.

It was like the funeral marches she had seen in her lifetime as she walked, pulling in all the souls and demons of hell that had escaped into her. She knew she was marching to her death. Yet, she wasn’t alone. In front of her was the Malachi, holding that blade of hers in her hand and that other one at her belt. Every bit like the warrior of the stories told about her.

The Malachi cleared the path to the tear for her and waited for her. It was actually quite touching to Rowena. She had mocked the woman about her compassion even for her enemies and here it was being given. Not as lip service, but genuine compassion and kindness. It was really too much and Rowena felt like she would say something to be annoying.

“Rowena.”

Rowena knew the end was near and she was ready to jump in now that she had all the souls inside of her. She was stopped by that voice and turned to look. The Malachi was standing there and she couldn’t help but say, “How many times are we going to stand this close? I don’t like you.”

The Malachi smiled at that. Rowena didn’t mean it and she knew it. They both did. What Rowena didn’t expect was the Malachi grasping her head and pulling it towards her. She didn’t realize what was happening until she felt the kiss on her forehead. The witch blinked at the Malachi and all she got was a smile of understanding.

As she fell into the tear, Rowena felt a sense of peace. She was scared of dying. Anyone would be, but it was a relief because she knew who would kill her, and she made the choice to do it. She could almost just imagine the Malachi looking into the abyss and watching her fall and it strangely felt comforting. She wouldn’t be alone.


	4. 15.04 Light Atomic Monsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean have a talk in the car but there is still tension. Tag to Atomic Monsters.

_I don’t feel free._

Dean glanced over at Sam as he continued to drive towards home. He didn’t say anything, but he was concerned. He knew Sam had great love for Angela and little Jess, both who were waiting for them at home. Just hearing that… He kept his eyes on the road.

It was a good idea to go on this job. The idea was to remind Sam that everything they did mattered. Just because it felt like they kept springing leaks in the boat, what they did made a difference to the people that they saved. It was a good idea, but now he couldn’t help but feel that it fell flat.

He knew that Sam was taking it hard about Rowena. They tried everything and in the end, what Billie said… it happened. Sam was the one that killed her. He knew that had to be hard on his little brother. They had been through so much crap that any sane person would go mad. All three of them had been through a lot.

The phone rang and Dean glanced over to see that it was Angela. Sam wasn’t picking up the phone and it caused Dean to frown. Shooting a look at his brother, he picked it up and answered, “Hey Angie.”

_Dean, is everything alright?_

“Why does something have to be wrong for you to call?” Dean grinned to add a light tone to his voice. He knew she wouldn’t be fooled by it, but he still tried and for the most part, it was a silent means of dropping something and picking it up later.

_You really want the answer to that one?_

Dean chuckled when he heard the playful tone. She was trying like they were, but he knew she was still grieving. She was quiet about it, but she was grieving for Jack. Dean didn’t have to be an expert on women’s feelings to know that she was devastated at the loss and extremely pissed at Chuck. She was hell on ready to rip the guy apart the last time they met. She was mourning and it seemed that Sam wasn’t seeing it.

The last time there was disconnect between Sam and Angela was the whole thing with her being in Purgatory for over a year and Sam remaining here. They still had some leftover baggage, but they seemed content to bury it. This… was something different. And Dean knew when it started.

“Knowing you… hell no. You have a scary mind, sister,” Dean teased as he made a correction. He knew Sam was listening, but he wasn’t going to share. Sam was acting in a funk and it started when Rowena sacrificed herself to seal the rip to hell.

_Only when I want to have fun with you._

“When are you not? I know you slipped me that vegan bacon as payback.”

_It wouldn’t kill you to be healthy every now and then._

“It does. And you make sure I eat healthy. You hardly let me cook anymore.” Dean couldn’t help but pout even though she couldn’t see it. He sobered and added, “But really, we’re good. We finished the job. Turns out it was a vamp. I wished you were here. Could’ve used your sniffer.”

_And you know…_

“I know. You need to be mom to Jess. How is she by the way?”

_She’s asleep now but she was asking when Papa and Unca Dee were coming home._

Dean’s lip twitched at Angela’s imitation of how Jess called for him. He loved that kid and sometimes his nightmares changed to what would happen if he lost her like he did Jack. He knew that was on Angela’s mind. Had to be. He replied, “Well, we’ll more likely be home in the morning. Just in time for breakfast.”

_Then I’ll make something special._

“Pancakes?”

_Okay. Dean… how is Sam? Really?_

Dean glanced over to find that Sam had looked away. “You wanna talk to him?”

_No. He’s… It’s not a good time._

“Angie…”

_I’ll see you both in the morning._

Before Dean could say anything, she hung up. It had him baffled and worried. Usually she was the one that pestered enough until people talked. Now… He glanced at the phone before putting it down.

“Everything okay?”

Dean didn’t look at Sam as he replied, “As good as it can be.” He didn’t look at his brother.

Sam looked at Dean and then at his lap. “Okay.”

Dean pursed his lip before starting, “No, it’s not okay. Sam… what the hell?”

Sam looked at Dean. He knew his brother pretty well and treated Angela like a sister. That meant when she got hurt, physically, mentally or emotionally, he turned into angry big brother and would literally raise hell to get justice. Dean did what he would do for Sam. He didn’t want to get into a conversation and said, “It’s nothing.”

“It’s _not_ nothing,” Dean pointed out. “She just called to ask how _you_ were. She just hid it under the you and me you.” He gestured between him and Sam. “I know she wanted to talk to you, but she seemed scared. And I know something is wrong when she sounds like that when it comes to talking to you.”

Sam was quiet for a few moments. He couldn’t deny it. Things weren’t going too well between them. The reason was Rowena. “Things aren’t… going so well.”

“Understatement of the year.”

Sam looked at his brother, “Dean…”

“What happened that has Angie so scared she has to ask _me_ about you?” Dean didn’t wait for an answer. He knew the answer. “It’s Rowena, isn’t it?”

Sam didn’t look at Dean but looked away. He didn’t want to talk about it. He still didn’t know what to say to her. He was still having a hard time processing the fact that… He looked out the window.

Dean knew he hit the nail on the head. He glanced over at Sam and started putting two and two together. “You don’t like the fact that she agreed with Rowena’s plan. Probably flat out endorsed it.”

Sam made a slight gesture with his head. Finally, she whispered, “She knew. She knew and she said to do it anyway.”

Dean listened to Sam’s reply. He shook his head, “Sam…”

“She knew. She knew about Death’s books and what was in them.”

“I know. I saw her there and they aren’t the best of friends still.”

“And yet she said it was the best choice.” Sam looked at Dean.

There it was. Dean pursed his lips. This required a talk and talking while driving for this conversation was not going to cut it. He pulled over abruptly. He put the cark into park and turned to look at Sam. “Alright, let me get this straight, you’re pissed at Angie because she said sacrificing Rowena was a good idea?”

“She knew I was supposed to kill her, Dean.”

“And that is supposed to make a difference?”

“It makes a hell of a difference.”

Dean pulled back and looked ahead. He shook his head. He took a couple of breaths before asking, “How many years have we known her?”

“What?”

“How many damn years have we known her?” Dean was close to shouting.

“A long time. Over ten years.”

“That’s right and you and I both know that she came with a lot more baggage than we did. She’s had to make choices that no one wants to make.” Dean looked at his brother with that look that said he was on a warpath. “And you and I both know that no matter what, she’s always had our backs. Even if we disagreed.

“And if anything, she didn’t come to that decision lightly. And she was still grieving for Jack. Hell, she still is grieving on top of the cold shoulder your dumb ass has been giving her.” Dean pointed at Sam to drive the point home.

Sam looked away feeling ashamed and foolish. He knew how much she loved Jack. She considered him like he was her own and Jack called her mother. He also knew that she had done everything, think everything through. No doubt Rowena convinced her at some point. “I know,” he whispered.

Dean looked at his brother. He knew Sam was sorry and no doubt, Angela pushed aside her own pain to make everyone else feel better. He couldn’t help but ask, “And?”

“And I’m an ass.” Sam looked at his brother. “I’m an asshole, alright? Cause no matter what I do, I always hurt her in some way.”

“Come on man… not everything is on you and she loves you more than anything in this world apart from the kids,” Dean pointed out. “She’s worried. Worried and grieving.”

Sam looked at his lap and thought about it. Dean put the car back in gear and got back on the road. He was quiet for a good twenty minutes. He thought about everything and he inwardly started to beat himself up for the fact that no one thought about her. He looked at the phone on the seat and stared at it. Finally, he picked it up. He looked at the screen before using the speed dial and held it up.

It rang a few times before the other end picked up. Sam felt relief and it showed as he asked, “Angie?”

Dean kept his eyes on the road, intent on ignoring what was supposed to be a private conversation. He couldn’t help but smile slightly. He heard Sam’s soft tones talking to her, apologizing and saying that he was okay. It may not seem like much, but it said a great deal and meant just as much. They all were still grieving, and it was as he said. They had lost way more friends than they cared to count. Yet, they still kept on going. They had to. What they did made a difference. Not just to the people they saved, but the people that they were building a life for, like his little niece. They had a ways to go, but they would do it as they always did… together.


	5. 15.05 Light's Proverbs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angela overhears Sam and Dean's conversation and thinks about how to fix things and ends up having an interesting conversation with Isis. Tag to Proverbs 7:13.

_How are we supposed to fight God?_

Angela had always been considered the tough one. She was known for shouldering burdens, that she had the strong shoulders to hold up the weight when everything seemed to collapse. The truth was, she was just good at hiding it; hiding the pain she felt when confronted with that sense of hopelessness. The same that she could feel pouring off Dean, her best friend and brother, in waves. For a man that was dead set on keeping his feelings hidden from everyone else, he was damned expressive when it became too much.

She didn’t have to ask if the case went well when they came home. She could tell by their hanged heads and walk. She made herself scarce, not because of the recent tension between her and Sam, but she knew her boys well enough to know that they needed a moment. Of course, she was a shameless listener at times. Most of the time, she tuned out conversations she wasn’t meant to hear. This time, she couldn’t.

It was an understatement to say that she was pissed with Chuck for everything he had done to them. She was livid that he killed Jack and then threw a temper tantrum because the boys said no to his games. He left and they thought they were free, but now he was back and he brought back Lilith. It was one thing amongst others but really hit home with the despair… that they may not truly be free.

It was natural to want to fix things. It automatic even if it didn’t involve her. It pained her that her boys were feeling so despondent. Sam was trying to be positive, and that was her thoughts to. The instinct to fight against a wrong. Dean looked so defeated. Whenever the shit really hit hard, and it seemed hopeless… he was close to giving up. She knew that feeling well and how heavy the load seemed.

It was on her thoughts as she wandered the bunker. Her mind was coming up with scenarios on how to work this as well as process what she overheard Sam say about the connection between him and Chuck. That explained why it felt off with the connection between her and Sam. She was frowning when she went to check on the baby.

Jess was sleeping soundly. She looked much more relaxed now that her father and uncle were home. She had bawled when Jack died and became listless when Sam wasn’t in the bunker. Angela worried since she knew that Jess was sensitive to the supernatural and to the emotions of the people around her. Babies were like that in general, but Jess… Angela looked at her sleeping daughter with love. She could see that Jess was special. It also had her thinking that she would go through the change when she was old enough.

Tucking Jess’ toy lamb that she had made to look like Castiel, Angela stroked her daughter’s hair before leaving to let her sleep. She opened the door and walked through to find herself on a verandah and one she was very familiar with. She snorted as she paused and said while turning, “You’re getting good at scenery changes.”

“If you were expecting Wosret, you’d be mistaken.”

Angela turned back around to see the goddess Isis standing there. She didn’t cower but she did lower her head respectfully in acknowledgement but showed a bland expression. “Considering that she is the one that tends to show up and lets me see Hibah.” She shrugged.

Isis expected that. Ever since her husband Osiris started presiding judgment of guilt over the living and Dean happened to be one of the victims. Angela was not in a forgiving mood at the time and while the displeasure ebbed over the years, it appeared to the goddess that she still was not happy that her husband decided to torment and hunt mortals. Isis was well aware the woman could hold a grudge if it suited her. She replied, “I see you’re still upset.”

“That’s mild, but probably accurate,” Angela replied as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Considering you were in a position to do something and chose not to. And I’m not talking about favoritism.”

Isis would have said that it was favoritism but that wouldn’t have flown. Angela never accepted special favors on her behalf. She always asked on behalf of others. And she was right on that account. She should have interfered, and she didn’t. She looked at the Nile in the distance and replied, “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Angela looked at the goddess and blinked. She didn’t think the goddess would apologize. They were capable and some had. It was always unexpected. She looked out over the balcony. “How is Osiris?”

“Still recovering. And he knows not to retaliate or suffer dire consequences from me and Hapi and Satet. Not to mention Wosret and Hibah and the entire guard.” The goddess gave a slight smile at her. “And it is because you are my favored child.”

Angela made a slight sound, “I don’t know how much of that should apply considering that I’m…”

“You still are a child of mine. You have the powers and strength of the night children.” Isis turned to look at Angela. “I know about you. Your soul and what you once were.” She gave a slight smile as she said, “Your guardian angel, the Messenger told us after he rescued you from hell.”

“Always with a plan,” Angela replied with a wry smile. She leaned on the balcony and sighed. She looked out. “I don’t know what to do. Chuck… he… killed someone precious to me. He literally threw a temper tantrum and now is setting the stage for the end. He even brought back Lilith.” She looked at the goddess. “He knows about my baby.”

The goddess looked at her favorite one. It had been hard to keep back from interfering. Isis had always favored Angela since the beginning and had been hard put to let the girl live her life. “And?”

“He knows, but I think he won’t try anything. And Amara, his sister… she gave her protection.” Angela looked at Isis with confusion at that. She still was trying to process this. “He thinks of all of us as characters in a story that he could make do whatever he wants. And the second his favorite resists… he throws a tantrum.”

“And you question how much of the decisions you’ve made were part of an elaborate plot.” Isis looked at her. She gave a slight smile, “Tell, me… you’ve read the books. How much of it has anything to do with you?”

Angela looked at the goddess. She hadn’t thought about the Supernatural books. Castiel once called them the Gospel of Winchester. She had read pretty much all of them and there were very few instances of her being mentioned. In fact, it was so vague, she could easily see why she had been called a literary device and people questioned her gender. “Very little,” she admitted.

Isis nodded, “And yet even in the prophecies of other cultures it is very vague about you. You’ve seen them.”

That much was true. She had seen how various pantheons sent the visions of her and even then, they weren’t full on descriptions like she had seen of other things. Leaning against the balcony, Angela looked at the goddess with a frown. “So… I’m just a literary device,” she replied in a fit of humor. It did always amuse her how that one comment was spot on in regards to her relationship with the boys.

Isis couldn’t help but chuckle. She was always amused by the way how humans described her favorite. She had examined this thing called the Internet and she found it much more entertaining. She shook her head. “More than that, my favorite daughter.”

“Are you going to remind me that I am the beloved of Shiva and Parvati? I know that and still earn scorn from the other gods that I don’t bow down to them. I don’t even do that to you.” She made a slight gesture as if to make her point.

“A gift and honor you rightfully earned by being you.”

“I’ve done nothing of the sort,” Angela replied. She looked over the balcony at the scene below. She sighed, “Is there such a thing as free will? I mean do we really make our choices?”

Isis looked at Angela as the woman looked at her with a pensive gaze. “Fate and free will both play an equal role in destinies,” she finally said, finding inspiration from something Shiva once said.

“Really?”

“Don’t be so surprised that Shiva’s wisdom is far reaching and you have said something similar yourself.”

Angela remembered that. She remembered when Sam and Dean were trying to cheat fate so to speak. They had just met Chuck and they thought he was a prophet then. She nodded, “That the end result will happen, it’s the decisions made to get there that is up for grabs.” She looked at Isis, “And look at where that got us.”

“But you have no regrets. None as far as your relationship with the brothers. By the way, Hibah says that Jess is beautiful. She shows traits of both her parents.” Isis smiled, happy. “I would like to see her one day. If it is permissible.”

Angela smiled. She really couldn’t stay mad with Isis. She long ago accepted the decision. She just wanted to hold onto a grudge and she was stubborn. “I think she’d like that too.” She sobered though and added, “Where does this lead though? The fact that Chuck set about the end of the world; that his favorite plot is having one brother kill the other?”

Isis looked sadly at Angela. She knew that story well. Set and Osiris had been at odds. It was how Osiris gained his immortality. He had to die at the hands of Set. She didn’t know what to say.

Angela didn’t expect an answer. She just needed to vent and figure out why she was never figured into this. She had always fought by the Winchester’s sides and yet, from what Sam’s nightmares turned out to be… she wasn’t in it at all. If Chuck created everyone and played with them and their fates, then where did that leave her? Truly free of him? That thought panged her since she swore to be there for Sam and Dean no matter what. They were family.

“It is a question that… Chuck… has never been able to answer.”

Angela turned to see Isis looked at her. She noticed that while the goddess was showing sympathy, she was also wearing that royal look that meant this was important. “What do you mean?” She gave a slight frown.

“He may have created you and your other half, but you specifically have never been affected by his machinations.”

Angela frowned at that, “That doesn’t make sense since Sam and I are soul twins. We share a part of the other. That would mean that we would share in the same fate more or less.”

“But you have always been the dominant half. Your abilities are the active half. Sam is the passive, the one that calms the storm,” Isis replied. She saw the look and raised her hand, “I know you’ve done the same for him, but your growth, your power, the mastery of your abilities is because of him.”

Angela eyed the goddess, “But I was searching for Sam for over five hundred years. Time and distance can separate soul twins.” She sighed and shook her head, “None of this makes sense.”

“You are not controlled by Chuck’s machinations of fate like the rest of us,” Isis said, “Yes you do have a fate, but you… ride the road of your own fate.” She gave a wry smile at the use of another proverb. “One could say you defy fate at times.”

Angela snorted at that, “I doubt that.”

“Daughter, you are not bound by Chuck’s rules like most think. I know he knows that you don’t considering the times you have defied what he had spread that you are to be,” Isis explained. She put her hand on Angela’s shoulder. “You have fought against fate since the beginning. You’re still fighting.” She smirked, “You’re thinking of how to fix this now. From the most obvious to the most creative.”

Angela blinked at that. She forgot the goddess knew her pretty well. It had seemed like years living in Karnak, but the reality was that it was a matter of months to a year. Time enough to learn about each other. She then smiled sadly, “But even I know that I can’t fix everything.” A tear started to fall, “I just want to have a life with my husband, my brother and my daughter.” She gave a watery chuckle, “The great Malachi being selfish.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you wanting that. You’ve done more for this world than will ever be known.”

Angela didn’t say anything but turned to look back out at the Nile river. She leaned on the balcony again. She thought about things before saying, “You’re right. That I want to fix this. Thing is… I don’t know what to do about it. I mean… Dean had it right. How do you fight against God?” She looked at the goddess.

Isis looked at her and thought about what she was going to say. Finally, she said, “Well… you already have experience fighting against a god. You know what Chuck wants. Work with it.”

Angela straightened up and stared ta Isis, “Even if that means toying with the fact that Chuck is not going to give up on his… favorite endgame?”

Isis looked back at Angela and replied, “You know how he thinks and if what Sam sees are his thoughts as a result of the wound he sustained… use it. This isn’t any different than the other battles you led and fought.” She took a step forward, “You were adopted as a princess of warrior royalty. You have warrior’s blood in your veins. It is a part of you as it is your loving nature. They are never at war with each other. In the end, they work together and often in a solution that may anger some, but only because they didn’t realize it, or it doesn’t benefit them like they wanted. You never cared about sides. Always the bigger picture. You always did, even with your own life.”

Angela stood there as Isis reached out and caressed her cheek. She listened to what she was saying, and she knew what she had to do. It had been at the back of her mind ever since she head Sam and Dean talking. She looked downward at her feet, “I know what I have to do. It’s just…” She looked at the goddess.

“You’ll do what you know and feel what is right. After all a light spirit shoulders a heavy fate.”

Angela chuckled, “Going to lay me on with proverbs?”

“Whatever it takes, my daughter,” the goddess replied. She smiled at Angela and leaned forward to give her a kiss on her forehead. Smiling she said, “Just remember that Fate loves a rebel. Remember that as you… wake up.”

Angela opened her eyes to find herself in bed. It was late. She frowned as her vision cleared and it softened when she saw Sam facing her, fast asleep. It was one of the few times he slept peacefully. Until he started twitching in his sleep and she guessed another nightmare courtesy of Chuck. Sighing, she reached for him and pulled him, so his head was resting on her chest and started stroking his hair. His reaction was to wrap his arm around her waist, hugging her tight, as if afraid to let her go. And he said she was the cuddler. She smiled softly as she stared upwards, stroking his hair and easing him through his nightmare. She thought about her conversation with Isis and what the whole point of it really was. As much as she didn’t want to admit it… she was about to test fate to the fullest. She just hoped that it would end up working out.


	6. 15.06 Golden Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot can be said but to sum it up, Angela gets Eileen back. A small victory in a larger battle. Tag to Golden Time.

“Eilee!”

Angela smiled as Jess squealed and reached towards Eileen, wanting to be held by the newest occupant of the bunker. She held onto her daughter and smoothed her curls as she eyed the girl that she had raised, that had died and was now flesh and blood in front of her. She was quiet.

“She’s adorable,” Eileen spoke as she signed.

Angela looked at Eileen and asked, “Do you want to hold her?”

Eileen nodded and reached for Jess. The baby was eager to meet the new face and went willingly. Jess squealed, “Eilee!”

Angela hummed as she watched Eileen and Jess interact. Jess had wrapped her little arms around Eileen’s neck and was giving one of her neck squeezes. She was a strong little girl and was capable of choking, but she seemed to know her limits. Angela smiled as she folded her hands in her lap, her thoughts wandering.

It had sounded too good to be true when Sam found the spell that Rowena had been working on to bring the dead back. She remembered the attempt for Mary and how that ended up. She didn’t think that the witch would keep at it, but then again maybe she should have. Rowena trusted magic above all other things.

The downside was that it could only be used once. And that was what that witch was after. That was after the witch sent to raid Rowena’s place died from the hex alarm that had been put on the place. If anything Rowena was meticulous about who she trusted with her property. Hell, Angela thought she would end up in trouble since she and Rowena weren’t the best of friends, but they did have an understanding.

In the end, the witches were dead and they had the spell. That didn’t mean that all was well. Eileen did manage to find them though it was not completely necessary. Still, it was probably for the best. It did leave an impression on all three witches. It certainly was the elephant in the room between them, but force of habit and the urgency to make things right for Eileen pushed it aside.

“She looks like you.”

Angela was aware that Eileen had been talking to her and looked up. “What?”

“I said, she looks like you.” Eileen looked at Angela and frowned, “Are you okay, Angie?” She signed as she spoke more for clarity.

Angela looked at Eileen and sighed. She spoke as she signed, “I’m happy to see you, but I’m not okay. Haven’t been for a while.” She put her hands down and looked at them in her lap.

Eileen held Jess. The little girl refused to let go and despite her tiredness, she wanted to stay awake. She had wanted to talk to Angela despite the logical fact that there was plenty of time in the morning. It mostly started with the way Angela looked at her the moment she saw her alive.

Eileen had sought out Sam and when she said hello to Angela, she had been puzzled by the expression. She remembered her old mentor and her habits well. The way she looked at her, like she wasn’t sure what to do… it was not a familiar expression to her. She kept it to herself as she explained what happened to her.

It had been a blow to hear that she wouldn’t be able to get to heaven. Yet, Sam was persistent in hope and they managed to find what they needed in Rowena’s hiding place. They hadn’t planned on the witches showing up and Eileen certainly hadn’t planned on seeing her friend and mentor react the way she did. Sam explained that he was mated to Angela, but it never seemed to hit home until she saw that anger and rage, and what Angela did to the witch’s spirit and the one of the one that Dean shot. It was terrifying and had Eileen wonder if that was what she felt when she died. She wanted to know but couldn’t ask.

It seemed that it was to be ignored even when they returned to the bunker and Sam went about doing the spell. In fact, Eileen was a little hurt that Angela wasn’t there at first. What she didn’t realize was that her old mentor had taken the practical approach; she had gone and gotten clothing for her. It was like she knew that she would emerge from that tub naked and alive. But Eileen didn’t notice that. What she noticed was the look of relief and joy that threatened to explode.

Eileen knew how reserved her old mentor was. She was controlled in her emotions and was never impressed with temper tantrums. The end result was that she slapped Eileen when she was throwing a fit. It was funny to laugh at now, but then… it was a part of Angela. She was a woman from a time when women weren’t expected to wear their emotions freely or risk being called a silly girl. There were a few times that wasn’t so and seeing the look on Angela’s face was one of them.

It was also the first time Eileen saw the true extent of Angela’s feelings for Sam. The love and gratitude as if he had just given her the greatest gift in the world… it spoke volumes. The funny thing was that Sam seemed surprised at the gentle kiss Angela gave him on his cheek. It was another thing Eileen tucked away for future thoughts, but it did cement the fact that her old mentor was like how she was and yet not quite there. Sitting there, she asked and signed, “What’s wrong?”

Angela looked at Jess as she sat on Eileen’s lap, looking at her with Sam’s eyes. She then looked at Eileen and saw the concern written on her face. She said, “A lot has happened since you… died.”

“I figured.” Eileen made a slight face and grinned. She sobered and set Jess on the bed beside them so she could use her hands without hindrance. She started to sign.

_They hurt Sam. It made you angry. More than what you used to do when someone tried to hurt me._

Angela looked at Eileen. She started signing, _I know Sam told you we were mated. It’s… more complicated. I am angry more often._

_Because of Chuck?_

Angela looked at Eileen as the girl raised her brow at her. She nodded, _Yes, Chuck. He took Jack from me. He threw a temper tantrum and decided ending the world was best because Sam and Dean didn’t play along. And I’m sad and angry that I lost you._

Eileen looked at the woman looking so down across from her. She reached out and took Angela’s hand. She spoke, “And I know you would’ve brought me back if it were possible.”

Angela looked at Eileen and replied, “I would have done that for all my strays that died from this job.” She gave a sad smile. “No one should have to see what I have seen.”

Eileen shook her head, “But they have. I have. Sam and Dean have.”

“And look where it brings us.”

Eileen sat back. She knew this tactic well. Guilt, but a lesson built in there. Even when that wasn’t the intention, it was still there. She gave a slight smile, “And we all chose it. We made the choice.”

“And that’s what I preach the most,” Angela replied with a wry smile. She squeezed Eileen’s hand and held onto it. “The thing is… this is a war, and it’s not going to be pretty.”

“It never is.”

Angela gave a slight, dry chuckle at that. She shook her head before saying, “Sam and Dean… they don’t know war. Not like I do. They don’t know the toll of making those decisions that puts hundreds to thousands of peoples’ lives in your hands. The thing with the Apocalypse… not close. Separating from your emotions to make those decisions… that is something they haven’t done and… not capable of doing… unless they were soulless.”

Eileen watched Angela’s face and the emotions that flitted across it. She frowned a little, “But… you make choices that try to get the least amount of people hurt.”

“That is just with a few. Try whole armies. Going to that point where you do cross a line somewhere. The dark shadows. I’ve done that… most of my life.” Angela glanced over at Jess. “And I wonder how it is possible that I carried and gave birth to such and innocent creature.”

Eileen looked at Jess. The little girl had started amusing herself with her toy lamb. She looked at Angela and saw the woman’s love for her daughter but also the sadness that Jess had her as a mother. She grasped Angela’s hand and looked the woman in the eye, “Angie.”

Once she had Angela’s attention, Eileen started signing, _I know you. You raised me. You trained me. You protected me. I know what you’ve done. I saw it. But I still love you. I love you._

Angela looked at the indignant look on Eileen’s face. _Even after everything._

Eileen nodded vigorously, _Yes. I know what you are, but it is not_ who _you are. There is a difference. You taught me that. I know what you did. I read. It’s still you because you thought about it long and hard. You are doing it now with what is happening. You want to fight and you want to do it with the least amount of people getting hurt._

Angela watched Eileen until she paused in her signing. Then she signed in return, _You finished?_

Eileen snorted at that and signed, _I mean it. I know you. You always find a way. Not perfect, but the best possible. Dean knows it. Sam knows it._

Angela stared at Eileen and sighed. She rolled her eyes slightly when she saw the grin appear. She looked at the girl and said, “You are worse than a few others I know. They always bring up Sam.”

“They know you like I do,” Eileen replied with a smug grin. She sobered quickly and added, “I know Sam brought me back, but I want to help you if I can.”

“Don’t torture me so soon.”

Eileen gave a dry chuckle as she tried not to. She grabbed Angela’s hand and squeezed it. “I’m still a hunter.”

Angela looked at Eileen. She knew that. She knew that the ones she trained made the choices they did. No one twisted their arms. She just felt guilty because she set them on the path. In the end, she did what she did because if not her, they would learn it anyway and probably end up biting off more than they could chew. If she really thought about it, her strays were lucky to have her in their lives. A few lived beyond the average lifespan of a hunter. It was possible.

Looking at Eileen, she noticed that the girl was tired. She stood up. “Time for bed.”

Eileen pulled a face at Angela. The discussion was over for now, but she knew that Angela would think on things. She replied, “Yes, Mom.”

“Don’t talk back to me girl. I can still whip you,” Angela replied with a smirk. She moved to pick up Jess but was surprised when Eileen stopped her.

“She can stay. She’s sleeping.”

It was true. Jess was already asleep and it seemed cruel to interrupt. Angela nodded and made sure Eileen was tucked in. She gave a wry smile at the smirk she was given as a warning. “Get some sleep. It’s a gift.”

Eileen nodded and turned to look at Jess sleeping. She looked up once to see Angela watching. She signed, _Good night._

Angela smiled and signed, _Good night, sweet pea._

Nothing more was said when Angela turned the light off in the room she had given Eileen. There would be time to talk about plans in the morning. Right now… it was a time to enjoy the small victories. True there was the larger problem of Chuck and fixing what he broke, but for now... she would take it.


	7. 15.07 Light's Last Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hibah joins Dean on the hunt and understands his reasons for the hunt a little better. Tag to Last Call.

Aeschylus said that time brings all things to pass. What do you do though when it brings to pass the thing you least expected; that it brings something that you know could hurt the people you love. Hibah thought about that as she eyed Dean’s longtime hunting friend Lee Weber with a quiet calm as they greeted each other.

After everything that had happened, Dean had been itching for a hunt and things seemed to be tense between Angela and Sam. Hibah couldn’t put her finger on it but something was going on and it was causing a strain between her adoptive parents. She couldn’t blame it on Eileen. The girl was close to both of them and they were both happy she was alive. And Jess was the biggest indicator. No, it was something else.

Hibah was a young goddess, even with her angelic half and didn’t understand most of the intricacies that the gods and goddesses knew. All she could do was sense that which was good and which was not good. Dean once told her that it was the gut instinct; that she had a good one and it kept her alive. She was more inclined to believe him since the more recent fights she had been in relied on that instinct.

Now, that same instinct was telling her that Lee was not who he put himself to be. She had accompanied Dean on this hunt saying that she needed the exercise. It was a poor reason since she truly wanted to be away from the tension that plagued her and she was certain that it plagued Jess. She felt cowardly for leaving the baby behind.

She was quiet on the road to Texhoma, Texas, only answering when Dean spoke to her in regards to the plan. She felt a little relaxed, but that changed when she met Lee. She was polite about it. Ima and her mother both instilled good manners were a given no matter who it was. She shook Lee’s hand and that was when she had that bad feeling.

Hibah loved her human family and she knew how fragile they could be emotionally. She didn’t want to burst her uncle’s bubble by telling him that she had a bad feeling about his old friend. Besides, he looked happy when he got up and sang Good Ole Boys with Lee. She always knew Dean could sing. He just liked to hide it under a bush. This was one of the rare times that she got to hear him. It also gave her a chance to look around the bar.

Hibah wasn’t a drinker, but she could blend in. She took one beer and held onto it the entire night. She detested the taste of beer, but it was better than drinking the harder stuff. She needed a clear head as she watched the patrons. She spotted the girl that they needed to talk to and went to chat. It ended up being more than that and she was ready to fight those two tubbies until Lee and Dean took care of them. She stood there watching like the girl did. As much as she wanted to say something, she didn’t. It affected what she did the rest of the job.

She said that she would look at the bar where the girl was take while Dean and Lee would go to the junkyard and the lake respectively. It was a lie, and it seemed Lee didn’t give her a second thought. She didn’t go, but instead followed Lee. It was the longest lesson in patience she ever learned. Instead of jumping into the fray, she kept silent and followed.

It took a lot to not react when Lee knocked Dean out when he found the dead girl. Ima had taught her that patience was what got you what you sought. Her bad feeling was confirmed, but it didn’t give her the reason why and she sensed that there was more to it than what she had seen so far. It was proven right when she followed them back to the bar.

Abba had always been nervous about the fact that she could be sneaky and deadly. Yet, he utilized it when they looked for Dean when he had been possessed by Michael from that other world. She used that same skill to sneak back into the bar and waited for the opportune moment. She couldn’t help but chuckle when Dean jumped when she came up behind and started trying to get the bindings undone. “Relax, Amitz. It’s only that sexy creeping through the shadows thing.”

“And you’re a bit young for that.”

Hibah couldn’t help but chuckle at that. It was short lived when the creature broke through its cage. It was automatic for her to engage as she stood up. She would never have teeth like Ima, but she could look scary. The marid didn’t stand a chance and it was decapitated. She wanted to do the same to Lee, but Dean held her back. Dean could be diabolical when he wanted, and she followed his lead. She also sensed that it was something she needed to do.

It certainly helped when the guns started shooting. They wouldn’t hurt her; as long as the bullets weren’t silver or spell cast with something that would be painful, she was good. Still, she listened to Dean and remained hidden. She couldn’t understand why since Dean knew about her abilities, but she respected his decision. She couldn’t resist though when Dean came out from behind the counter. She ended up shouting, “Amitz.”

“Hibah.”

She stayed where she was as Lee tried to convince Dean to walk away. She was quiet as Dean said he couldn’t and that his job was to kill monsters. Being raised as warrior royalty instilled a certain degree of respect for code and honor. Though called hunters, Sam and Dean were warriors and as such they were treated as such. So, while it was difficult to watch, she bore it out of respect for Dean’s wishes. She knew it was something that needed to be done.

She didn’t flinch when Dean drove the cue into Lee for a deathblow. She didn’t flinch, but she felt a sort of sadness, a pity. Pity that the man that Dean once called a friend changed so much that he became the thing that he hunted. She felt for Dean in that he lost a trusted comrade. It was on her mind when they packed up and headed back to Kansas.

“You’ve been quiet the entire time we were on the job.”

Hibah looked away from where she was staring out the window. She looked at the man that was her uncle. “Why talk when you were doing enough for the both of us?”

“Don’t be like that, Ninja,” Dean countered. “What’s on your mind?”

Hibah studied Dean as he drove. She knew he was waiting for an answer but couldn’t take his eye off the road. She finally said, “Everything wrong.”

“What do you mean?”

“Everything,” Hibah repeated. She looked up and explained, “Jack… Abba and Ima… the world going to shits because of Chuck.”

“Hey no swearing.”

Hibah chuckled at Dean, “Kind of late for that Amitz.” She grinned at the scowl he shot her before sobering, “And the fact that when you need a friend, an ally the most, you find that what you knew before… it’s gone.”

It was the kind of deep thing that most of the time was avoided, but Hibah sensed it was needed. She said, “I’m sorry about your friend. I… sensed something was off but I didn’t want you thinking I was causing trouble.”

“And why would you think that?”

Hibah took in the look of surprise and replied, “He was your friend.”

“And you’re my Ninja,” Dean declared, calling her by the pet name he had given her when she was a child. “You saved our butts when we were in trouble. You helped save Angie. If anything, your opinion is important.”

Hibah smiled a bit, “That’s a kind thing to say.”

“Ninja… I admit it was good seeing Lee and… I was a little jealous at the life he was leading. That he got out of the hunting business and was living the normal life.”

“You got a taste of that too with Haley,” Hibah pointed out.

“Yeah but… I still hunted a little. I mean completely out of it. I am a little jealous.”

“Why don’t you quit?”

Hibah had heard his response before, but she was curious to know what he truly felt about doing the job. There were plenty of others that were doing the work. Hell, they knew someone in government who coordinated with a SAS unit. It was just that part of being a warrior, a hunter, a protector that had to be asked. Of you had a good reason for it, then it was the right one.

She didn’t expect for Dean to pull over as abruptly as he did. She did brace herself as he braked and turned to look at him as he looked at her and said, “Ninja… why are you asking me when you heard what I said before?”

“Because I want to know what you really think. Have you thought it over?”

It was blunt, but there was no better way to get to the bottom of things. Ima would do it different, but she had a way of using her words to drive the nails in. Hibah hadn’t learned that yet if ever. She looked at Dean and asked, “Have you really thought about why, Amitz?”

It was quiet for a time and Hibah sensed that Dean might be thinking of a way to sugarcoat or make up an answer that he thought she was looking for. She hoped not since they made a pact to always be honest with each other. She didn’t want to remind him about that. It was kind of a slight on honor kind of thing.

Finally, Dean replied, “As I told Lee. Someone has to. And before you ask, let me finish.” He held up his hand to stop her. He cleared his throat before continuing, “I did want out. A lot of times. Even when me and Sammy were kids. Hell, I was I was like Sam and told Dad that I didn’t want to do it. And while it hurt the way it did when Sammy left… I was damned proud of him.

“I know I said things that hurt him and brought him down. Hell, I might as well have said that he was a bad son for wanting normal. Thing was, Ninja… I was afraid. I was afraid of being alone.

“It was always me and Sam against the world and to lose him… It’s why I made the deal and started us on this mess. We’ve had ups and downs and could point the finger at each other hundreds of times, but we’re still here, fighting the fight together.”

Hibah smiled at that, “With Ima being the dragon, right?”

Dean rolled his eyes at that. “Tell me about it. Thirteen years and she still messes with my system.” He smiled fondly at the old joke. He looked at Hibah, “Ninja, I care about what happens because of the things I’ve seen, and I don’t want those things to happen to anyone else. If I can stop it for one person… it’s worth it.”

Hibah stared at Dean for a time. Slowly she nodded, “I understand.”

Dean smiled at her and ruffled her hair gently. He started the car and pulled back onto the highway. “You know… you’re a little rusty on the job.”

“Oh, I can do it. I was the one that killed that thing, remember?”

“Hey, I was there, and I think I was the one that killed it.”

They continued to argue back and forth about the case in a good natured manner. Hibah understood where Dean was coming from. She sensed he still felt overwhelmed about the whole thing with Chuck or God. She heard the anger in his tone when he mentioned the being. And maybe felt a bit of despair at the fact that this may be a fight that couldn’t be won. Maybe it couldn’t, but she learned one thing about the Winchesters. They fought until they died fighting. That was their way. They kept at it, carrying on.


	8. 15.08 Light Not in Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Angela have a few words before he leaves the bunker and it has him thinking. Tag to Our Father, Who Aren't in Heaven.

“You’ve… changed.”

Angela turned to face the owner of the voice. She adjusted Jess on her hip after picking her up to take her to bed. She replied, “I merely moved with the times.” She gave a slight smile. She straightened out. “So… who am I talking to?”

Michael gave her a look. “You know the difference,” he retorted in an annoyed tone.

“Quite possibly,” Angela replied with a polite smile. “I’m just being respectful of the fact that you and Adam are in an… interesting agreement.”

Michael stared at her. He had wanted to be angry and engage in a fight, but Adam put a stop to it. Adam told him what she had done when they were in hell together. How could Michael be angry at her even though he thought her to be a shirker to her duty?

If he had to be honest, he couldn’t deny that she did what she had been born to do. She was a protector of the people. Not only that… she was a mother. It was a new thing to see.

“Somehow, I get the feeling that you are trying to understand me,” Angela said, interrupting his thoughts.

“I never understood you,” Michael replied. He paced and looked around. “Not even when you were…”

“When I was one of you?”

Michael looked up at her. “So, you remember, Israfel.”

Angela sighed at that. “Not what you think I do,” she admitted. “When Amara was set free, she gave me a memory. I don’t remember anything. I just… accept what I’ve seen.” She looked at Michael and gave a shrug, “It often explains the strange shit that has happened.”

Michael felt his facial expression sadden. He had hoped that his sister would get her memory back. He remembered when she had begged for death and in the end, she was sent to earth without her memories or grace. She was to live among the humans and even without all that, throughout the centuries, managed to be what he remembered her to be.

“Don’t be sad. I don’t remember and it doesn’t bother me,” Angela said.

“I’m not sad,” Michael protested.

Angela chuckled at that as she picked up the blanket that Jess liked and wrapped it around her baby. “Don’t even try to hide that. Five hundred years and the expressions are always the same,” she said with a slight laugh. She came up to Michael and looked at him. “And that is a sad face.”

Michael made a face at her. “Your…”

“If you say anything about attachments to humans and their expressions… don’t. Remember, you’re riding a human now,” she teased. She tapped Michael’s nose as she moved to leave the room.

Michael wrinkled his nose and replied, “And you are as childish as ever.” He turned to look at her. “Turning everything into a joke. Even when it is serious.”

Angela turned a looked at Michael. She studied him while Jess cuddled into her shoulder. Her eyes scrutinized him. She was quiet for some time until she finally said, “And sometimes levity is all that stands between victory and despair. I am sorry that you found out all that has happened like you did.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” He turned away and paced, looking at the ground. “My father betrayed me. Betrayed us all.”

“I’m no stranger to betrayal.” She gave a slight shrug of her shoulders. “Painful on both sides.”

“So you’re saying Father feels pain for what he did to us?”

“He’s not my father,” she replied firmly. “But if you’re asking about the pain of betrayal… I doubt it.” She turned and headed for the door. “As you learned… it’s all a story to him.” She glanced at Michael as she added, “We are his playthings. Have been all along.” She looked aside sadly, “He doesn’t appreciate what it means to live.”

At that moment, Jess made her baby sounds. Angela shifted to comfort her. She watched as the baby blinked sleepily at Michael. Her little eyes were wide open as her little fingers squeezed and contracted on the blanket wrapped around her. She didn’t say anything as she stared at the archangel.

Michael couldn’t help but stare back. He didn’t expect a child. Not one that was hers. And yet, he expected it of her. She was the kind to care for any child, whether it was hers or someone else’s. He peered at the baby and noted the hair and the eyes. “Those are… Sam’s eyes.”

“I didn’t notice,” Angela replied with a grin.

“Pretty,” Jess suddenly said as she reached out to touch Michael. “Ada.”

Michael blinked at the baby and didn’t do anything when she touched him. He looked at Angela who was just letting it happen. There was no alarm or tension. Just… relaxed. Trust. He frowned at her as he straightened up. He couldn’t resist letting Jess grab onto his finger. Angela was still giving that look. “I don’t understand.”

“Understand what?”

“How you are not afraid. For the child here.”

Angela chuckled at that. “Why should I be afraid?”

Michael looked at her puzzled as he replied, “Because I’m an angel. I could have been pretending to seek revenge on you.” The look he was getting compelled him to give more even though he wasn’t sure of what to say, “She could have been hurt. You’re too… trusting.”

Angela laughed at that and Jess started giggling. She looked at Michael, “You are funny.”

“I’m being serious and you’re complacent.”

“Don’t make the mistake that because I am not tense that I am not alert, Michael,” she countered. She was still smiling but the seriousness was in her eyes. “As a mother, I will rain down hell against anyone that tries to harm my baby. But as someone who… can sense intentions… I can be calm. Even in battle against the odds I’ve been able to show calm.” She adjusted her grip on Jess. “It’s what being a warrior is. I would have thought you’d know that.”

“I remember you as a warrior. Fearless and wrathful when Father ordered it,” Michael admitted. He shook his head, “You as…” He gestured at her. “You’re different.”

“I’m me. Who you remember is not me,” she clarified. She gave a pointed look to make a point. “I get being in the cage all you could think about was what was then. Even now I remember a time when I wasn’t so shamed by what I am. But I don’t let it hold me back.”

“So you just pretend it didn’t happen?” Michael didn’t mean to sound angry but he still was.

“Never said that.” Angela’s expression became hard as she stepped forward and stared at Michael with that hard expression. “There is a saying I tell people. Forgetting is hard. For someone with a long memory, it is hard and painful. It is because deep down, no matter what you do, there is always something waiting to bring you back to that position, ready to poison you with anger and hatred. I’m not saying not to be angry. A little is good. But to carry it out to the point of vengeance… that is what will kill you in the end.”

“I can’t die,” Michael interjected.

Angela gave a chuckle, “Still thinking literal. So insistent on being the good son. Did you ever really consider what that really means?” She stared at the archangel. She knew he was listening. Whether or not he heard her words was up to him. “You saw what Cas showed you. Think about it. Process it. I know that you are helping us out and gave us the spell and opening the way to purgatory. But what are you going to do after that?”

Michael was going to say something but Angela abruptly turned and left the room, taking the baby with her, leaving him standing there. He blinked at that since it stunned him, but it was a fond memory. She did the same in heaven. At least what he remembered. But she wasn’t the same as he remember. He knew that well considering how she responded to what he had considered her duty.

He had been resentful of her blatant disrespect, even in the cage. And yet, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that she was doing her duty. She was still doing it, just in a different way. She was always one to not obey the rules, but her actions always fell in line with what she was. As much as he wanted to be angry, he knew she was right. Still he had to think about things. He would and he had company as he left the bunker. He did hope that Dean Winchester would succeed in getting what he needed from purgatory.


	9. 15.09 Trapping the Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is still beating himself over his screwing the pooch in their chance of trapping Chuck. Even a small lesson from his daughter Jess fails to lift his mood entirely. Tag to The Trap.

If there was one thing Angela was good at, it was the waiting game. What people lauded as great war tactics was just a simple waiting game at times. She would laugh sadly at the lauds knowing that it was much simpler than that. It was a good lesson about simple often being the best means. She was also good at seeing the larger picture.

She considered it a gift and a curse to be able to see that and then to coordinate plans accordingly. It often called for things that didn’t make sense at the time until when they were executed or afterwards. It was the path to get there that caused discord and strife. And yet, she still managed to command loyalty from the men she led into battle. It instilled trust that was hard earned especially with the man that she was proud to call brother. It was what Sam admired and loved the most next to her selfless love for everyone and everything.

So it was a surprise that she didn’t say or do anything when they returned from that casino in Nebraska. The only thing she did was bid a very heartfelt goodbye to Eileen. Sam watched as Angela didn’t even try to convince Eileen to stay. Instead, Angela was understanding. She smiled and told Eileen that it wasn’t her fault. Sam had said the same thing, but it was always different coming from Angela.

Sam had learned sign, but there were some things that even he couldn’t understand. Yet, he knew that Angela was expressive in her actions. She was as such when she cradled Eileen’s head and kissed her goodbye. It had Sam wonder how many times she had to say goodbye to those that she loved. Too many, he was sure, and he could get that. He even saw that.

Inwardly, he winced at what Chuck had shown him. He had been shown the future if they had followed through with their plan and trapped Chuck as Amara had been. He believed Chuck and still did. The fact that he and Dean became the thing they hated… He didn’t even know what happened to Angela and his daughter. The only reassurance he had was that Jess was safe as had been promised, but he knew that could mean anything, and his mind went to the worst case scenario.

It bothered Sam that she didn’t react to the fact that he admitted he screwed the pooch with this one. It was even worse that Dean wasn’t his usual self. He knew Dean. At least he thought he did. Every time he screwed up; Dean let him have it. It almost became a weird norm for them. It was crazy, but to Sam, it was normal even if it was hurtful. It was like everything was being turned on its head and sideways and with Eileen leaving…

It was always considered cowardly to hide, but Sam wasn’t sure if he could handle the awkward silence between him and the people that mattered the most. At least Dean and Castiel made up. That was a relief. Sam sat on a large log that he found that helped border the herb garden that Angela had started. She refused to raise them in the bunker stating that plants were like people and needed sunshine and rain. It wasn’t fancy, but rather simple and it gave a sense of peace.

It allowed Sam to be alone with his thoughts. It had been a long time since he last truly beat himself up over this. He didn’t want to believe Chuck and yet he did. He lost hope that they could win. He let them down. He let is friends down. He let his family down. He sighed and looked up at the night sky and at the stars. He gave a wry chuckle when he could make out one of the constellations of the Zodiac.

He and Angela still bore the consequences of that decision. It was risky and yet he jumped into it with both feet. He had hope. He had faith then. Maybe it was like what Dean once said in a fit of despair. He was tired. But did that mean to give up entirely.

“Papa.”

Sam turned his head in the direction of his daughter’s voice. He spotted Jess tottering on her little legs. His mouth opened in surprise at his daughter walking. When did he miss that? Feelings of guilt flooded him. He was a terrible father if he was missing her milestones like her first steps.

_But you were her first word._

That was true. Most kids said ‘Ma’ or ‘Mama’. Jess said ‘Papa’ and pointed at him. Angela was over the moon about it. She didn’t care what the word was. It was important that their daughter tried to talk and succeeded. From there came other words. Sam was amused at what Jess called John Winchester, but he knew that it affected his dad greatly.

“Papa.”

Sam watched as Jess tottered forward. He let out a slight gasp when she felt down. He started to get up to pick her up and check on her when she propped herself up and stood right back up. She started tottering again towards him, determined to make it to him on her own. It had Sam kneel and he held his arms open. It was natural for Jess to increase her steps like she was running. She made it and wrapped her arms around him saying, “Papa.”

“Hey baby girl,” he replied as he hugged his daughter.

Jess hugged her father and allowed Sam to pick her up. She kissed him on his cheek before yawning. “Wuv you,” she yawned again.

Sam whispered back to her as he looked for Angela. He didn’t have to look far or long. She was there, watching them both. She had a peculiar expression on her face. It wasn’t the one that he hated with a passion. This one was different, and it had Sam perplexed. He didn’t know if it was a good thong or a bad thing, but he could pick out the hint of thoughtfulness on her end.

Knowing that he wasn’t going to get an answer right then and there and Jess in his arms reminded him of his responsibilities, he said, “Come on, Jess. Time for bed.”

“Bed bye,” she muttered as she laid over his shoulder.

Sam smiled at his daughter’s use of words. She was like her mother in that respect. He carried Jess inside to her room and tucked her in the bed. Angela decided that the crib wasn’t safe anymore and Sam agreed since Jess had a tendency to get out of her crib and they didn’t want her to fall. He tucked his daughter in and made sure the dogs were in their spots before leaving.

Angela was writing in one of those ledgers she liked to keep as a diary in the main room. She had paused and was running her fingers on the wood. Sam came closer and saw why. She was rubbing the initials they had carved. Her fingers were tracing each letter and it seemed to polish the cut wood. Sam swallowed slightly as he sat down across from her.

It was quiet for some time. It was the kind of silence that would have Dean uncomfortable, but never really was like that for Sam when he struggled to find what to say to Angela. More likely it was because she expressed such patience and would literally wait until the cows came home for them to talk about the root of things. Finally, Sam said the one thing that seemed adequate, “Thank you.”

Angela had been writing when he said that and looked up. She looked at Sam and asked, “For what?”

“For… what you did. With Jess.”

Angela blinked at that, “She wanted to see her father before bed and insisted on walking. She had been trying the past few days.”

Sam knew that it was futile to try and call Angela out on things like that. She had a tendency to teach a lesson and often times without her realizing it. Usually it was with an action or something that she had been reading before the incident happened and then it ended up making sense. When she was deliberate about it, it was a different feeling. Yet, Sam suspected she was aware of what she did and decided to somewhat let it slide. “I… would have thought she’d show you.”

“That makes sense since I’m the one at home with her, but she loves you. There are some things that would mean more to you than me.” Angela was being blunt about Jess’ milestones not to hurt, but to make clear that there were some things that she considered more important. She would be happy because it was important, but not excited about it like most human parents were.

Sam understood that. The fact that Jess could talk was more important than which word it was. The fact that Jess was standing, and walking was important to both. Angela just had a different way of expressing it. He nodded at her reply, “Yeah but… I get it. About what happened. How I let you guys down.”

Angela shifted and gave her full attention. “You didn’t let us down, Sam.”

“Angie… admit it. For once. I blew it. Because I believed Chuck. Still do.” Sam looked down at his lap. “That Dean and I…” He looked up at her and his emotions showed clearly on his face, “We were monsters, Angie. You weren’t there. Jess…” He shook his head.

Angela reached across the table and grabbed his left with hers. Their hands were angled so each other could see the wedding bands they put on each other. “Sam… you know I don’t think that. And I am admitting that as the truth. You want the truth? I see it as something that was supposed to happen.”

“You never believed in destiny or fate.”

“I believe that we all have a purpose and a role in this life. It is written. The path to get there… _that’s_ where the fun is. And it is full of pain, hardship, heartache… but also joy.” Angela looked at Sam as she squeezed his hand gently. “Eileen… not your fault. Even I was willing to believe that Rowena would do that. In fact, that is so like her. She is like me. Plan contingency.”

“You are very different.”

“Not really,” Angela replied with a chuckle. “You forget that I was and am a general. I had to make those decisions, battleplans. To look at a larger picture when most only see what is in front of them… it’s a gift and curse. A gift because you can anticipate as best you can. The curse… you end up seeing the path to get there and sometimes no matter what you do… it will never be free of bloodshed.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

Sam looked at Angela. It often hit hard that she could be that understanding. She had her flaws too and some where the kind that she never really got over. She still occasionally put herself down and despised what she was. In her darker moments, she called herself a monster and questioned how they could have something beautiful like their daughter.

“Helplessness induces hopelessness.”

Sam looked at her. “What?”

Angela looked at Sam and sadly said, “It is said that it is the loss of hope and not the loss of lives is what decides the issue of war.”

“Have we lost?”

“Not as long as there is still hope. A chance.”

“What chance, Angie? I blew it. I destroyed the chance of making the cage for Chuck.” Sam sat back in his seat after letting go of her hand. “Basically blew our chance of being free.” He sighed and looked at his hands.

Angela stared at him for a moment before she said, “She got back up.”

Sam looked up. “What?”

Angela repeated, “She got back up.” She looked Sam in the eye.

Sam knew who she was referring to. It was rather simple, but it was no use arguing with her. It was better to think about her words and what they meant. It was often surprising how insightful Dean could be after getting a talk from her. He listened and nodded.

Angela merely smiled and got up. She gave Sam a pat as she collected her things to go to their room. She paused at the doorway and looked at him. “As long as there is a chance.”

“You really believe that?”

“I believe that you believe what Chuck showed you. I also believe that things are not set. If he couldn’t see me or Jess… then truth is relative. After all, we are what we do and believe.” She gave a slight smile and left the room.

Sam sat there as he watched her leave. She was never one to come out and say that someone was right or wrong. She would say her thoughts and leave it at that. It was her first thoughts after everything that had happened from the time she barged in with Dean and Castiel to where she stood toe to toe with Chuck to her silence all the way home and her goodbye to Eileen. She always had a way of making the point come across.

Sam made a slight smile as he sat there and thought about what she said. He also recalled his daughter’s first steps. She fell but she got right back up and tried again until she got to him on her own. How many times had he and Dean done that over the year when faced with all the crap? Probably too many to count and enough to gain a bunch of people that hated their guts and would probably like to see them dead. Logically, this was like those times, but it was different.

There was no way to change it from what it was. Sam screwed up and he knew it. He screwed up their one chance to be free and in the end… he just trapped them in this game with Chuck. All because of what he had seen. He saw and believed it. He tried explaining it to Dean but even Dean was different about it. Sam expected the anger and instead… Dean said they would find another way. It was one thing for Angela to say it. It was another for Dean to say it.

Sitting there, Sam sighed in the darkness. He didn’t know if he was going to bounce back from this one. He lost hope for one second and lost a chance. Now it felt like he lost it entirely and didn’t know if he could get it back.


	10. 15.10 The Light's Journey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garth and Angela have a normal conversation after Sam and Dean leave for Alaska. Normal as in the kids and overall health of everyone. Tag to The Heroes' Journey.

Garth smiled as he sat down at the computer. It had been a good day. He got to see his old friends Sam and Dean. He even got to help said friends. He practically rescued them from the fight club for monsters. He ‘Garthed’ that massive vamp!

It was strange though. It was strange that the Winchesters, who seemed so invincible, were going through normal problems. It was something that he did every day. Well, what was normal for a werewolf, at least. Sam and Dean… they were larger than life to the point that they were practically legends. To hear Dean have cavities and Sam getting a cold… it sounded weird. Not mention what they went through with that huge vamp. It was kind of embarrassing.

At least he got to see his old friends. Garth was more than happy to help with the normal stuff. Plus, Bess was serious and you didn’t want to cross her. Her cousin got that loud and clear when she essentially made him tell the Winchesters about the fight ring. Garth was glad that _she_ was there. She and Bess would have tag teamed and it wouldn’t have been pretty.

A beep on the computer sounded and he turned it on. He smiled and said, “Perfect timing as always. They just left.”

Angela’s face showed on the screen. She had Jess sitting with her and the little girl was beaming at the screen. She was a pretty baby and Garth always thought she got the looks from Angela. He smiled and said, “Hi Jess. Being good for Mommy?”

_Gar!_

Garth chuckled at the little girl’s attempt to say his name. She was definitely Sam’s kid and credit did have to go to Angela since she was the one that made the effort to make Jess familiar with the people that mattered. He looked at Angela, “Like I said, perfect timing.”

_I figured as such._

“You’re really not going to tell me how you do that.”

_I haven’t even told Sam, much less Dean. Besides, a little mystery keeps things interesting. How are Bess and Gracie?_

“Good.”

_And Sammy and Cas?_

“Boys.” Garth made a slight face, but it was hardly effective since it was clear he loved his boys. He looked at his friend and almost felt guilty that he never mentioned that Angela kept in touch. Sam didn’t want to bother him because they didn’t want to bring trouble to his family. Garth didn’t quite see it that way when Angela kept in touch after meeting Bess.

That had been rather rocky since Bess was ready to rip Angela apart for no reason other than that she had vamp blood in her. It was crazy how close they became after differences were settled. They became like best friends, the kind that were friends in the PTA kind of thing. Then again that was always the thing with Angela. She treated everything as normal even when for the most part it wasn’t. Garth appreciated that especially when she hugged him after learning what happened to him.

_Yeah, I know a thing or two about that. Did Bess try that herbal remedy for colic that I recommended?_

“Oh yeah. Worked like a charm,” Garth replied, pulled from his musings. “She told me to email you the secret recipe for a cold. She said you might need it.”

_I’m always in the market for different ideas. I take it that it worked on Sam?_

Garth nodded, “Yeah.” He then smiled, “Oh and Dean has a clean bill of health for his teeth.”

_I’m glad. How were they?_

“To be honest,” Garth looked around like he expected the Winchesters to pop out from behind the door before turning back to the screen, “They kind of… sucked.” He looked at Angela almost apologetic. “They were normal.”

_And I bet they thought they were in hell._

“They didn’t say that, but… yeah they did.” Garth nodded in agreement. He frowned a little and asked, “Angie… I don’t mean to be… blunt, but it seems that you are taking this way too well. I mean… you’ve lived with Sam and Dean for years. You’ve done some pretty incredible things yourself. How is it that you’re… not… affected?”

He really didn’t have any other way to describe what his thoughts were. He did find it strange that Angela did seem normal. He spoke to Sam and Sam revealed that she was fine and that nothing unusual was going on. It had him puzzled as he looked at the woman on the screen and prayed that she wasn’t offended by his choice of words.

_I don’t really know. The only explanation I have is the fact that Chuck can’t affect me as he likes._

Garth looked at the equally puzzling frown on her face as she thought about it. “It just doesn’t make sense, Angie. The things I’ve read about you…”

_A normal person doing extraordinary things when the occasion calls for it._

Garth gave a slight smile. “But you really aren’t normal, Angie. You’re…”

_A woman with a condition that causes her to have abnormal strength and occasionally eye flares._

Garth started laughing at the straight face she had as she gave her reasoning. It caused Jess on her lap to wriggle and giggle. The smile that formed made him laugh even more. He sat back in his chair. “Okay, you win.”

_I usually do._

“And the right amount of smugness too.” Garth smiled at her as he leaned back in his chair. He sobered and sighed. He looked at her, “Is it really that bad. With them…”

_It’s a good learning experience._

Garth didn’t say anything. He leaned forwards and propped his chin on his hand as he looked at the twins in their playpen. He wasn’t sure of what to say since she was so matter of fact about things.

_It’s how I am._

“What?” Garth looked at the screen and frowned since he wasn’t sure that he heard correctly.

_Garth, I don’t consider myself the hero. Never did. I always saw myself as an ordinary person, give or take the fact that I can beat up a wrestler and kicked the crap out of an angel at full power. I am not bothered by it because that is how I lived most of my life. Yes, I was a part of different groups as time went by, but I was just like the humans. I had my abilities but I never used them. You know me… I prefer to drive, walk… take a train than use Angel Air._

_I wash, cook, and clean. I have Jess. I am just like any other mother._

Garth took in the smile. To him, she wasn’t just any other mother. She was… Angie. He didn’t see her as like anyone else. She was above the little people. Yet, she never saw that about herself.

_I learned and have lived without depending on my abilities._

Garth looked at her. “So you’ve lived like a human all your life.”

_Probably why I’m not freaking out. It’s always been normal for me._

“And it drove Sam and Dean crazy.” Garth couldn’t help but grin. While it had been serious business in that the guys that he hero worshiped were stripped of what made them the heroes, it had been hilarious. He looked at her and said in a sober tone, “It would be bad if they were to go up against God like they are.”

_I know. The thought crossed my mind. I also know that even without their ‘luck’, they would still do the job. It’s how they are._

“How you are too,” Garth pointed out. “I read about you. I read how you fight no matter what the odds. Even when things are super bad… you fight.”

_And the price was often high, Garth. Enemy became friend and friend became enemy based on the choices I made. I know the life of a hero. I am no hero._

Garth studied her. “I think you’re wrong on that,” he replied. “You _are_ a hero. Nothing you say will change that.”

_You are hopeless, but I still love you._

Garth was well aware of how Angela saw the world. She didn’t say the word lightly. She was the kind of person to mean what she said and to hear it from her… it was an honor and it cemented the bond as friends they were. He smiled at her, “You’re my friend. Always.”

_As the song goes, friends stick together._

They shared a chuckle at that. Garth tried hard not to laugh too hard since the twins were quieting down and if they knew that their auntie Angie was on the computer, then he would never have peace and quiet. He sobered when she sobered. She was smiling but he could see the serious expression on her face. He nodded, “I pointed them in the direction of Alaska.”

_I know. Thank you._

“It’s the least I can do. Like you, the Winchesters do what they have to. I know they are going against God or Chuck even as they are.”

_I don’t expect nothing less. It is who they are._

“And who you are, too. They’ll need you.”

_And when the time comes, I will be there. For now… someone needs my attention._

Garth looked at Jess as Angela adjusted Jess on her knee. It did seem strange, but he knew that Angela operated on priorities; what was most important in her view. Always it circled around life. The choices she made before meeting Sam and Dean and even after were geared to reap highest level of life. It tore her up as it did anyone when someone died, but she kept going. He got it and sure as hell the Winchesters did.

_I don’t doubt that the boys will figure things out. Once they do… it’ll work out._

“Ever the optimist?”

_I have faith._

Garth chuckled at that simple answer. It was always the same when they talked. This time it was no different. He still didn’t understand how she could be so calm about what happened, but he got the distinct feeling that she knew what it was about. Even if she didn’t, she would find out and take it from there. He spent the remaining time chatting with her about the normal things, mostly about the kids and differently parenting techniques. It was a pretty normal evening between two friends.


	11. 15.11 The Light Gamblers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angela is sorting her thoughts after learning that Jack is alive and has a conversation with Fortuna. Time to play their game and not Chuck's. Tag to The Gamblers.

_He’s scared of me… and Mother._

Angela sat, looking up at the night sky. She watched the stars as they twinkled. It was a chilly night, but she didn’t feel the cold. It was one of the benefits of her kind. Her normal body temperature was the equivalent of a low grade fever. It certainly was funny at times when she demonstrated it by walking out when there was snow on the ground. It turned Sam into a cuddler. Being outside though had nothing to do with any of that.

She could hardly believe it. Her Jack was back and alive. Like Castiel, she was baffled and determined to figure out what was going on when they got the call from the sheriff. She went with him, leaving Jess in Kate and Kesset’s care. It was one of the few times she put down the mantle of stay at home mom and went back into hunter mode. Like before, she couldn’t give it up completely.

She certainly didn’t expect to find that Jack was hunting Grigori. The one’s she hunted and killed left an impression on her. She even thought that he was a shifter; a cruel joke in light of everything she held dear, especially that boy. It was Jack though and she was overjoyed into speechlessness. She didn’t even think twice of Jack consuming the hearts of Grigori. She understood the reason why, and it only cemented the reality of where this road was heading.

_He’s afraid of me… and Mother._

Angela sighed looking at the stars. She thought about what Jack said. It actually ended up making sense. She had never been fearful of angels in general. She went so far as to threaten and mouth them off and she did kick a few angel asses a good one. The feared reputation was well earned. It did explain why she was able to stand in front of Chuck and say the things she did when she and Dean rescued Sam and Eileen.

It was also another one of those things that thrust the whole weight of the world on her shoulders again. The elephant in the room was the fact that she had several cases lining the library shelves, each containing the blade of a Grigori. She still wasn’t sure about what Jack said about them, but it wasn’t the first time Absolution received a power boost. It still had the crest of the Dragovich dragon slayers to the point where it was now a part of the blade. Its power was theirs and made it stronger especially when it traveled to Purgatory and learned the secrets of its ability to transform.

Now the blade was being offered power again. The blade of a Grigori was powerful. Absolution could already kill most everything… everything that tormented the earth. One was powerful but here was several. That drove home the reality of the road they were traveling. It was saying that despite the power she already held, it wasn’t enough. The problem was that she didn’t know what would happen if she went through with it.

Jack said that it was part of Death’s plan. Angela knew Billie well enough to know that the woman was a being that liked natural order and hated it with a passion when it was fucked with beyond all reason. She wasn’t too bad since she knew that there were always exceptions to the rule. Her idea that she gave to Dean didn’t go as planned; Jack took care of it and at a great price. The thing was Death had answers because of her library. The books of all possible endings for every being on earth and it is all based on the choices people made. It was like that phrase she was fond of saying, the whole thing about the end game is set but the journey there was full of possibilities.

It was a conversation she wanted to have with Billie but was also reluctant to. It would only drive the point home of what was at stake. Actually, she looked at it every day. She saw it when she played and took care of Jess. She saw it when she saw her family enjoying life with no worries in those rare moments she sought and cherished when she got them. The decisions she made… well worth it. She sighed as she took out a coin and started playing with it; flipping it and catching it.

“You put a lot of faith in mortals.”

Angela caught the coin and held it in her fist. She turned and gave a slight grin. “And it’s never been misplaced. They are flawed, but they try.” She held the coin between her two fingers. “It appears that I was right this time, Fortuna.”

Fortuna looked at Angela with a slight grin. It looked like a cross between annoyance and amusement until it turned to a full smile that held a slight hint of coyness. “A gamble.”

“Oh you know me, I don’t gamble. I wager,” Angela teased as played with the coin in her fingers. “And I wagered that they would impress you and that you would see what I see.”

Fortuna made a slight face at that. “Still the same. Always arguing semantics.”

Angela shrugged, “It’s what I do.” She played with the coin a little more. She flipped it and spun it between her fingers. “That and plan ahead.”

“And I’m surprised that it wasn’t you that pointed them in the direction of me,” Fortuna replied. She looked at Angela with a raised brow. “You could have easily said that you knew of me and send them to me. But you didn’t. I wonder why.” She looked thoughtful as she said it.

Angela clenched the coin in her hand. She looked at the goddess. She didn’t say anything but looked at the woman. Fortuna stared back and thought about it and put it together. She smiled knowingly, “You sly creature. Only you would throw in a lesson.”

“A bit of humbling,” Angela corrected. “A reminder of not to take things for granted. That and sometimes what they need to find is best given from someone other than me.” As she said that, she thought about back to when Sam and Castiel had been on a job and she literally cut Sam off. She looked at the goddess, her thoughts hidden on her face.

“So you gave that funny little werewolf my information and he told them to come my way? And I supposed you set it up that he needed help.”

“Actually, that was pure luck.” Angela couldn’t help but smirk at that. “Even I’m not that great at coincidences.” She chuckled since it seemed to be a running joke that she always seemed to know what was going on or going to happen.

“It just seems… convenient,” Fortuna replied.

“Always does,” Angela replied with a shrug. She sighed and looked up at the night sky. “It was a gamble, but I know them and I know what they are about. I’m glad you saw it too.” She looked at Fortuna with a pensive smile. “Pretty good advice too.”

“Well I know what _he’s_ all about,” Fortuna huffed, trying to hide the pride in her. She crossed her arms over her chest. She turned to look at Angela. “But you are different. Just when I think I’ve gotten a read on you, you do something completely different. It’s rather… refreshing.”

Angela chuckled at that. She clenched the coin in her hand as she rested her chin on her closed hand. She looked at the goddess. “I’ve learned a few things from various places. I pick what works for the current situation.”

Fortuna chuckled and shook her head. She looked at Angela. “Always making light of the situation. Always was your best and sometimes annoying trait.” She gave a knowing smile as she gave a pointed look at Angela. “But effective.”

“I’m glad you approve.” Angela chuckled a bit before she sobered. She sighed and said, “Thank you for granting them the heroes luck.”

“You doubt that they can’t do it without it.”

“Not that. I know they can.” Angela adjusted her position as she explained, “They are in panic mode. Panic mode and I get a comedic show. They are capable of doing the impossible, but they don’t need luck. They just can’t see it.”

“And you can?”

Angela looked up at Fortuna, “It was never luck that enabled me to do what I’ve done. True my genetics played a part, but it was the knowledge that I learned and applied. And a little bit of faith. Belief that it would work, even when logically it shouldn’t and it did. That’s how I’ve always worked.”

“And why you never saw yourself a hero.” Fortuna gave a knowing smile and a nod. “You really are unique, Israfel.”

Angela huffed at that and it turned into a snort. She was no stranger now to the angelic name she had before her sentence of being reincarnated on earth. It was useless to tell people not to call her a name she no longer remembered, or in this case as far as she was concerned, never knew. She did say, “That is someone else, Fortuna.”

“I know you never knew that person.” Fortuna rolled her eyes slightly. She sighed, “Well, I just wanted to drop in and tell you that you gambled and this time you won. You do know that adage…”

“Whenever you gamble, eventually you lose,” Angela replied with a wry look. She looked at the goddess, “But I don’t gamble. Calculated risk and plenty of faith. Just like what I think we have now. And we won’t play Chuck’s game.” She gave a slight smile before turning to look back up at the night sky. She was aware when the goddess left but didn’t need to acknowledge it.

Maybe she had been in this game a long time. Long enough to certainly argue semantics, but that was her personality. Even Sam knew better than to try and argue over that. That adage wasn’t wrong. Eventually you lose everything. The trick was knowing when to back out. In this game though, they couldn’t back out. Sam and Dean always took Fortuna’s advice and did things their way. They did it before when they refused to play their roles and they managed to stop the Apocalypse. They could do it again. They were going to play their game. Not Chuck’s.


	12. 15.12 Galaxy Light Brain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angela and Billie have a chat after Billie reveals the plan about killing God. A show of differences in how each views the game before them. Tag to Galaxy Brain.

_I told you Dean. You and your brother have work to do. This is your destiny. You are the messengers of God’s destruction._

_This is the Malachi’s destiny. The general, the defender, the champion against God._

“You know you could be a little less dramatic.”

Billie turned and found the last person she expected in her domain. She narrowed her eyes and stared at the being that she liked, loved, feared and hated all rolled into one. She replied, “A point needed to be made… Malachi.”

Angela smirked and gave a dry chuckle. She gave a slight shake of her head. She took a couple of steps forward. She advanced towards Billie, “You know me well enough, Billie to call me by name rather than a title that means little to me.”

Billie stared at Angela as she crossed her arms, “And you completely disregard your calling?”

Angela tsked at her, “You know me better than that.” She pointed at her as she walked towards the shelves of Death’s library. “You think you’re the only one that sees the larger picture? Understand the game being played?”

Billie watched her. She could have told her to stop, but she knew that the woman there would disregard her request, more to be annoying and show that she didn’t have to listen. “I wasn’t sure if you still did. You certainly like to stomp on it at times.”

Angela chuckled, “Only because I understand the value of life.” She was still smiling but her expression was serious. She studied Death and she studied Billie. “Nothing wrong with saving a life. A general would say that every person counts in a fight. War is a numbers game.”

“And is that all to you?”

Billie stared at Angela as she stood there. The woman didn’t reply. In fact, she almost looked like she was waiting for Billie to ask her a question. It was one of the things that Billie disliked about her. It was what made her difficult to read at times. Giving in, she asked the obvious, “How did you get here?”

“You know me well enough to know that is a rhetorical question,” Angela replied.

“The only way you can enter is if you are dead or dying,”

“Well I’m neither since I’m very much alive,” Angela pointed out. She moved to stand in front of Billie and crossed her arms over her chest. “So that leaves one other option.”

“You’re not in spirit form so its not that.” Billie looked at her. “You remembered.”

“I’ve always known,” Angela corrected. “And I certainly had a bitch of a time to explain a few things.”

“Oh yes. The fact that you knew what God was up to and the fact that you knew about the library… That was a nice touch.” Billie looked at Angela with a satisfied smirk.

“If you’re thinking that it’s a shock, it’s not as big as you think it is. Not to the Winchesters.” Angela gave a slight smirk. She circled Billie as she looked around. She then looked at Billie, “Sam has been the understanding one. More than I deserved at times. All the changes I’ve gone through, he’s been by me every step of the way. We have a daughter. Not the kind of thing to break easily.”

“And Dean?”

“A brother. Ups and downs. Again, bonding through trial and tribulation.”

Billie nodded. She, like others, were curious about Angela’s bond with the Winchesters and how, despite secrets, they still remained strong. Even those involved were never able to pinpoint the reason and was the source of debate, puzzlement… Billie looked at Angela, “Are you here to lecture about my delivery of the plan?”

“Why would I criticize a plan that was more or less the idea since Chuck murdered my Jack?”

“Your Jack?”

Angela looked full on at Billie and gave a slight nod, “Yes, he’s mine. My family. And I would save him despite the greater good.”

“And that is the reason why I question your sanity and your understanding about the larger picture.” Billie walked to her desk and sat down. She looked at Angela. “You put your selfish desires above what is best for the world.”

“I wish I could meet them,” Angela countered as she sat on the edge of Billie’s desk. She leaned over to look at the woman with a slight smile. “Cause I would like to be more like them. Unfortunately, everything I’ve done was always for someone else. Not me.”

“Arguing semantics will get you nowhere.”

“No, but I dislike misunderstandings based on what people think is done and said.” Angela adjusted her position on the desk. She looked at Billie. “You want the honest truth? When I got my grace back, I started remembering a few things. Not all. I still don’t remember things like what got me sent to earth. I’ve seen other’s memories but not my own.”

“But you knew about the library and details. That is a memory.”

“More knowledge. It doesn’t feel like a memory. Except for when Death told me that everything dies. Even God.” Angela shrugged in that maddening fashion. It wasn’t that she didn’t care. It was more to be annoying.

“So you understand that you have a role to play?”

“I always have,” Angela replied softly. She looked Billie in the eye. “I won’t ever leave an innocent to flounder.” She got off and started towards the shelves. She stood there looking at the bookcases with the books of everyone’s life. “I understand the larger game being played.” She turned back. “Still doesn’t justify killing your own reaper.”

“Is this about Merle?”

“This is about how we go about things.” Angela strode forward. “I’m all in agreement for what may be the best shot regarding Chuck. As much as I hate that you want to use Jack… I understand.” She gave a slight grin. “Did you ever wonder why Sam and Dean didn’t blow up at you for that?”

Billie looked at the woman standing before her desk. She did wonder that. She narrowed her eyes at the woman before them before she gave a knowing look. “You convinced them. But how?”

“A bond.”

The answer was insufficient to Billie and it showed. Angela was nonplussed by the reaction. Instead, she said, “Years of trust plays a part, but not all. Most would say it’s a sign of maturity.”

“Are you arguing that?”

“No.”

“What are you doing here?” Billie’s patience was starting to wear thin. She didn’t want to do something that she would regret.

Angela looked at the woman before her. She was quiet for a moment before saying, “Only to discuss recent events.” She shifted on her feet. “They may not believe in destiny like most people, but they understand on some level.”

“And what about you.”

Angela smiled and stepped closer. She put her hands on the desk and leaned forward. “As I said. I will protect the innocent. I will not let what is happening to the other worlds happen here. Though I get a sense that Chuck rather likes this world.”

Billie looked at Angela, “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing really. Just an observation. In any case, we have work to do.” Angela turned to leave. She started heading towards the wall at the end of the hall.

“So, this was an attempt at annoying me?”

Angela turned and glanced back, “Take it as you like. Just know that there are others that can join this fight. Jack may have the power, but a good general knows the resources at their disposal.” She gave a pointed look at Billie before continuing her walk.

Billie watched as Angela raised an arm and snapped her fingers. A rift like slit appeared and Angela walked through it and disappeared. Billie blinked at that. She suspected that Angela knew a lot more than what she was telling. While aggravating, Billie couldn’t help but admire it. It was very much like how other entities played. It was reflective of Angela’s true age, in terms of her grace.

Sitting at her desk, Billie couldn’t help but wonder if that was a deliberate revealing of her cards in terms of what she knew about Death’s library and knowledge being passed on. It had her thoughtful as she also thought about the last words that Angela said, about resources. She frowned and went to her library. She had to know if it was possible. She wouldn’t ignore the possibility that Angela may have another plan in the works. Whether or not it would affect the larger game, that was something that she had to find out. If it was written in the books.


	13. 15.13 Child's Destiny Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is thinking about what happened and now where the are at with Jack getting his soul back. Tag to Child's Destiny.

“Jackie no cry.”

Sam looked down and saw his little daughter had toddled up and gently patted Jack on the leg. Jess was looking up at Jack with an expression of concern. She tugged on his jacket, “Jackie.”

Sam recognized that she was going to start crying. Jess has always been sensitive to the emotions that were around. He remembered when she bawled in response to Jack leaving. She had cried whenever the emotions were running high.

He was about to reach for her to try and stop her from crying when Jack reached down and picked her up. Sam was not worried about Jack hurting her. Dean thought he was nuts the first time he expressed he was okay with it, but he had sensed then what his wife knew then. He also took his cues from her; when she was relaxed, he knew he could relax when it came to their daughter.

Jack set Jess on his lap and the little girl wrapped her arms around his neck and repeated, “Jackie no cry.”

It was enough to pull the heartstrings if someone didn’t know the context of what had happened. Right now, Sam was happy but also confused and a little frightened at what happened. True he had seen strange shit over the years but with them focusing on stopping Chuck from his temper tantrum, as Angela called it, he got the sense that this could be the end.

It was rather reluctance on his end when they decided to work with Billie and her plan. The fact that Angela seemed to endorse it while maintaining her possible dislike of the reaper helped in its own way. He always had trusted Angela from the first day. He didn’t know how to explain it especially since they just met and she was disinclined to be friendly with either of them. He understood that now it was a defense mechanism. Angela had loved his mother dearly and meeting them and actually interacting with them…

As it turned out, for the next part of Billie’s plan, they needed to find the Occultum. That was a treasure hunt in of itself. Dean had the right idea of asking Angela if she knew what it was or come across it. Her main talent through the centuries was securing objects of power and hiding them away. The one that made him most anxious was the Staff of Osiris. She hadn’t been in a position to help but the clues she left behind did. It was a wild goose chase, but that was the intention. In the end, no one mortal at least could get it.

There were other things throughout the years but the Occultum was not in her bag of experiences. Even she said that she had only heard stories and was probably the one thing that could be considered a true myth. They had to try and they had to find another source. The other source…

Sam could admit that he would have punched Sergei if he had been there. Maybe it was a good idea that Castiel went to him. Otherwise they wouldn’t have known that Sister Jo knew about it. The downside was that they were quick to take Jo at her word and they went to hell. Sam had no idea why he was so quick to agree with Dean. Experience told them that most angels were not exactly trustworthy, Jo especially. Yet, they charged in anyway.

Castiel’s way wasn’t much better, but as Angela pointed out, Ruby had no reason to lie. Thinking about it in hindsight. Sam thought that they should have asked both sides and not jump the gun on this one. A mistake but one that seemed to work out in the end since they were able to find the Occultum. Ruby had come through and gave the information to Castiel. What they didn’t count on were the hell hounds.

Sam had no idea how he was able to hold them off as long as he did. He had never wanted so badly to have Angela or the dogs there with them. Mostly he hoped for the dogs since he had seen them in action against hell hounds, but that wasn’t to be so. He had to admit that he didn’t expect Jack to come in and save them like that.

Now they were there back at the bunker and trying to understand the fact that Jack had his soul back. Sam had to admit that he had been concerned about that. He was happy Jack was alive but the whole no soul thing… Now he understood better what Dean went through when he didn’t have his soul. Now that Jack got it back, he was faced with the boy reeling and really feeling the guilt over what he had done. He knew that feeling sort of.

It was heart wrenching to see Jack so distraught and begging for forgiveness. Sam knew that the look was directed mostly at his brother. Dean had been reluctant to accept Jack at first but he grew to love the kid and even with what he did, it wasn’t fear of him but fear for him. It felt like they were all in a tough bind. At least until Angela and Jess came in.

Sam looked at his daughter hugging Jack like she wasn’t going to let go. Jack seemed to have calmed down. Most people were reluctant to get too emotional around Jess mainly because they couldn’t stand to see her cry. The other part was that Jess was similar to her mother; she was sensitive to the emotions around her and she reacted accordingly. Not that all different from how Angela reacted to when he and Dean were down in the dumps.

“Jackie no cry?”

“It’s okay, Jess,” Jack said as he sniffled.

“Jackie sad,” Jess said as she looked at Jack. Her expression became serious as she stared at Jack. She looked at him and patted his cheek. She then hugged him again. “Jackie sorry.”

Sam glanced at his brother. Dean hadn’t moved since it dawned on both of them that Jack’s soul had been returned to him. Dean looked like he was torn between giving comfort and his reaction of throwing back all your sins in your face. Not that he could with Angela there. Sam knew she would just give the look and that would be the end of it for now.

It was a game changer now. Jack had his soul. Was this part of Billie’s plan to deal with Chuck? It seemed so unfair to do that to Jack. Sam glanced over at Angela and noticed the peculiar expression she had. It hadn’t been easy for her either. She loved Jack like she did Jess and she was more than the Vengeful Virago for what Chuck did to Jack. There was also the fact that she seemed to be changing. Like her outlook was changing. Sam couldn’t put his finger on it but the closest he could come to was that she was starting to see this like a general would. She was mentally getting ready for war.

It really didn’t have to be like this. Chuck didn’t have to get insistent and throw a temper tantrum when things didn’t go right. He did though and it was screwing with everyone. And he meant even those from the other worlds. Like everything in their lives, things had to be screwed up to make things right. Looking at Jess soothing Jack, Sam thought that maybe to start small was enough.


	14. 15.14 Light's Last Holiday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angela is feeling despondent about the nymph's influence in the bunker. It leaves her wondering about her place in things. Tag to Last Holiday.

If there was one thing that Angela could pride herself on, it was her ability to read people and situations. Mostly she claimed it was a need to survive the world she was in. After all, the world wasn’t kind to dhampirs and the strange and unusual. Even when she was able to find happiness, she was always wary of what the next day would bring and it heightened since she gave birth to Jess. Yet, she was willing to give the benefit of doubt to Mrs. Butters, mostly because of the nature of wood nymphs.

There was also the fact that Mrs. Butters knew her since she last paid a visit to the bunker back in 1958 and she had rooms given to her. Of course, that was because Cuthbert had been overridden by the others and she willingly offered information. It hardly made things better since she was never truly comfortable with the wood nymph around. There was something off about the nymph then and she felt it now.

It was hard letting Mrs. Butters take over the cooking and cleaning and it was a hard blow when it was clear that Dean preferred the nymph’s cooking over hers. She was hurt that Dean didn’t even want her peach cobbler and she saw the smirk on the nymph’s face. It hurt even more when Sam started falling into the routine with Mrs. Butters making them lunches. And the nymph even managed to make Jack come out of his room.

The whole business hurt and Angela knew that it was what the nymph wanted. They were polite to each other but Angela wasn’t blind. The nymph didn’t like her at all and was going to try anything and everything to make her leave. That included the snide comments on the side. The kind that spoke of disdain for half breeds and her in particular.

She ended up doing what she usually did. She retreated. It was nothing new to retreat when people decided not to bother or she was forgotten. It never bothered her before since she would never really see them again. This time it did bother her. It was hardest for Jess.

Nothing was more insulting than Mrs. Butters referring to her daughter as an abomination and a monster. It was also painful because it was always done when Sam wasn’t in earshot. And Angela wasn’t going to tell him. Not when he and Dean and Jack seemed much better than before. They were happy and who was she to interfere with that?

Therefore it was rather a surprise that Sam wanted to take her out. With everything happening, it had her suspicious, especially when Sam mentioned that the nymph had suggested it. She was reluctant to leave their daughter behind but Hibah showed up and took Jess to Karnak to see her adoptive grandparents. It was only then that Angela was agreeable to a date since she knew that Jess would be safe at Karnak for the time being. She said yes, but didn’t fail to notice the dark look she was getting from the nymph.

Things came to a head when the nymph’s misguided protective nature reared its head. Angela could admit that she became fierce and a force to be reckoned with whenever someone she loved and cared for was threatened. It was also what could make her blind to her own demise and that allowed the nymph to capture her.

It turned into a mocking game and the nymph never failed to use the pressure points that Sam and Dean liked having the nymph around for housekeeping rather than Angela. It was out in the open since the nymph tried to convince Sam that not only Jack was a monster that needed to be destroyed but that she needed to be destroyed as well and Sam was not having that.

No matter how many times she herself declared that she was a monster, Sam was always insistent that she wasn’t a monster. When Jess was born that increased tenfold since she possessed a quarter of vampiric blood and he never considered his own daughter a monster. That was the nymph’s mistake and she paid for it. Sort of.

Angela was always one to play the long game and bide her time. She watched and waited. Her moment came when Dean put the bunker on standby. She got free just as Dean and Jack came in to help Sam. It only bought them a short time, but that was enough. She was ready for the nymph and stood her ground by letting her own power flow as she held her hands ready.

In the end, it was Sam that convinced the nymph to stand down and that she had been tortured by Cuthbert. Angela needed some convincing as well since she was angry and still hurt about the whole thing. In the end, she said something that was surprising to all sides.

“I believe there was a family of wood nymphs that were relocated to the sanctuary that is under my protection. They mentioned that they were missing someone.” Angela looked at the nymph with a pointed look as she said it. “You might want to start there. Even if it isn’t them, you are welcome to stay. No one will bother you.”

“Why are you being so kind? After what I did to you?”

Angela was well aware that everyone was listening to what she was going to say. The boys knew she could hold onto a grudge like there was no tomorrow if it suited her. They also knew that she didn’t always do things out of kindness, but for justice. Of course, she sometimes did things to be kind. She was aware they were wondering which it was going to be. She knew what she was doing and why and was able to ignore them for the moment. She looked at the nymph and shrugged, “Everyone tries to find home.”

“But…”

In the end, Angela waved it off. It wasn’t until she was escorting the nymph out that she said, “It is often who you are, not what you are that makes the difference.”

The nymph parted with a word of understanding and apology for all that she had done. It left Angela relieved but not satisfied. The whole thing left her feeling out of sorts. A large part of the reason why they succeeded in a lot of things was because they trusted one another and relied on each other. This felt like it broke it and she hadn’t felt it since Dean was influenced by the rage demon. She wasn’t even sure words of apology were going to fix it. Maybe it was what Chuck wanted; better to split your enemies and then they could be beaten.


	15. 15.15 Gimme Light's Shelter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angela is having a quiet moment and still brooding over recent events. She is trying to help Cas and Jack when she gets an unexpected visitor and it pulled her out of her slump. Tag to Gimme Shelter.

_It’s not what we usually do._

Angela listened to Castiel on the other end of the phone as he explained what was going on. From what he was telling her, she suspected that the cause was more human. She softly said, “Monsters come in all forms, Cas.”

_I don’t understand._

Angela smiled softly at the confusion she heard in the angel’s voice. She rarely heard it anymore. Her angel essentially had grown up in the ways of the human world. He had become a little more snarky the last few years and had been secretly amused in his manner. It only made her affection grow more, especially the way he expressed himself about Jack.

Humming softly until it turned into a chuckle, she replied, “There are other ways someone could be a monster.”

_You think it’s a human._

“Let’s just say that I’ve seen a lot of things in my lifetime,” she said. “Be careful and look after Jack.”

_I will._

“Bye bye Cassy,” Jess’ little voice piped up. “Bye bye Jacky.”

Angela chuckled as she heard Castiel say good bye to her daughter. She heard the click and hung up the phone. She smiled as she watched her daughter giggle as she started to play with her toys on the floor. The little girl never failed to make her smile with her antics whether it was getting Dean to play with her or doing something on her own.

She did wonder if she was fair with Jess in terms of her playing with other children. True Jess was only three but that didn’t mean she had to isolate her. She did take her out with her, but as far as Angela knew, Jess had played with other children. Just not human children. She sighed sadly as she watched Jess play.

“If anything you’re a better mother than most humans.”

Angela turned sharply to see the one person she least expected to be there. Her eyes widened as she saw her surprise visitor but kept her calm composure. It was a habit she could never break out of and it served well when confronted by enemies. “I try to do right by Jess. It is a surprise to see you Amara.”

Amara sat across from Angela, a little miffed that she wasn’t receiving more of a reaction from the woman, but she was also impressed. “Here I was hoping that I’d have the same reaction the last time we met.”

“I try not to let unpleasantness fester in front of my daughter. Tea?” Angela offered a cup from the tea tray that was next to her.

Amara accepted the cup of tea. Angela poured herself another cup and said, “Are you aware that Sam and Dean are looking for you?”

“More or less,” Amara said. “I am surprised you are not with them.” She then looked at the little girl that was looking at her with wide eyes of curiosity. “Then again I can see why.”

Angela glanced over at Jess to see her staring at Amara. She took a sip as she looked back at Amara. “It was my decision and one that Sam and I both agreed on.”

“Seems that you are making it work out.”

Angela paused at that. She was reminded of recent events. Sam had acknowledged how much her feelings had been hurt by the wood nymph’s influence. He acknowledged his part in it. Dean eventually understood his part in the whole thing and she forgave him readily for it. Still, it made things tense at home. She had little desire to do the things she had done before the nymph came into their lives.

Her confidence had been broken. Not so much in regards to fighting, but what she wanted to be most. That was to be a good partner and provider for her family in terms of being mother. Her feelings of inadequacy unworthiness had returned. It was a hard blow and she wasn’t sure if she would ever go back.

Amara noticed the change in Angela’s demeanor and tried to change the subject, “Well… Jess certainly is happy and healthy. I guess my protection was not needed.”

Angela looked at Amara and said, “It was welcome. Still is.”

By then, Jess had toddled up to Amara. She was looking at Amara while holding onto her toy lamb. Amara stared at Jess. It would have caused laughter and Angela was gently smiling at her daughter. Jess got closer and continued to stare at Amara. Finally, Jess smiled and said, “Pretty like Mama.”

Amara blinked at Jess when the little girl reached out for a hug. She wasn’t sure what to do and didn’t receive encouragement from Angela. She tentatively picked up Jess and was surprised when the little girl wrapped her arms around her to give her a hug. “Uh… thank you? I…” She wasn’t sure what to think or say and looked at Angela.

Angela smiled, “Jess likes you.”

“And you’re not concerned?”

“Why should I?”

Amara looked at Angela. It was one of the things that she didn’t understand about the woman across from her. She remembered someone completely different. It was partially why she did what she did for the baby.

“I am not who you remember. I don’t even know who that is,” Angela said, knowing what Amara was thinking. “I’m just… me.”

Amara studied Angela as she held Jess. She then smiled, “I guess you are.”

Angela smiled gently as she folded her hands. “Sam and Dean are looking for you. They wish to speak with you.”

“I know.” Amara then just frowned, “And you aren’t concerned about me knowing that?”

“No.” Angela shook her head slightly. At the unasked question, she explained, “Because I sense that you are curious about what they want.”

“And you aren’t going to tell me.” Amara smirked at that. “Well played.”

“Actually, I can but I know as well as you that you are interested. Aside from past history.” Angela smirked back. She sighed, “I figured that was why you came to see me. I still have loyalty to my husband.” She smirked again.

Amara chuckled and replied, “That is the one I remember. You are also different.” She stood up and held Jess out to her mother. She looked at the little girl. “You have a special little one there.”

“I know,” Angela replied as she accepted her daughter. “And it’s not because I’m her mother.”

“Never was in doubt.” Amara then turned a sober expression towards Angela. “And you shouldn’t doubt them either. How they feel about you.”

Angela looked up at Amara as she sat Jess on her lap. “I know. Old wounds.” She held her daughter and went quiet but she gave off an air of contentment. It was the truth since she was content being a mother and wife, even with its ups and downs.

Amara smiled slightly. “Just the same. I know how much Sam cares about you. I noticed it the first time we met.” She smirked, “And just as defiant. To be honest, I am curious to see how you would fare against my brother.”

“And that will be a mystery.”

“I don’t know. I have a feeling.”

Angela didn’t argue with Amara and let her depart. She smiled and chuckled as she held her baby on her lap. Jess said, “Pretty like Mama.”

Angela looked at her daughter, “You think so?”

“Like Mama,” Jess said, beaming happily.

Angela cuddled her daughter. She thought about what was happening now; Billie’s plan that involved Jack. She knew that the boys went to find Amara and ask for her help. She could have done it, but she had sensed that it wasn’t her place to do so. Yet, this conversation served a purpose. She looked at her daughter as she was playing with her toy lamb and smiled, “Want to make something special for Papa and Uncle Dean?”

Jess’ excited squeal made Angela smile. She stood up and walked with her daughter to the kitchen. Thinking about it, it was a luxury to worry about hurt feelings. It didn’t meant that they weren’t important and Sam said he was sorry. She could give back, even if they were baby steps. She added, “Let’s not forget Cas and Jack.”

“Jacky n Cassy!”

Angela chuckled at her daughter’s names for the people that mattered most. She sighed as her thoughts went to the ones constantly on her mind. While she understood what Billie was going for, doing whatever it took, she couldn’t help but have a sense of foreboding about the whole thing. Like there was something else and she was dying to know.


	16. 15.16 Drag the Light Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is trying to deal with the fact that Dean kept a vital piece of information from him regarding Billie's plan for Jack. Angela gives him something to think about, not taking either side. It leaves a question that has been festering. Tag to Drag me Away (From You).

“Sam.”

Sam closed his eyes and let out a breath. He didn’t turn around, not because he didn’t want to, but because he didn’t want to vent on someone that didn’t deserve anger. And he was still trying to make up for other things even though there had been some progress recently. He let out a slight hiss when he felt the gentle touch on his shoulder.

Angela chewed her lip when she heard Sam hiss like he was in pain. Her reaction would have been to pull away, but she steeled herself and left her hand on his shoulder. She appealed to him again, “Sam.”

Sam knew he had to saw something but the last thing he wanted to do was to hurt her feelings again. “Angie… please…”

“If you are asking me to leave you alone… I can’t do that. Not now,” she replied as she looked at the back of his head. “I… am willing to let you vent. You won’t hurt my feelings.”

It was probably unnecessary to say that, but Angela sensed that Sam needed some sort of reassurance that she wasn’t going retreat from him because he shouted at her. She was made of sterner stuff, but she candidly admitted that Sam was the only person to truly hurt her and a close second was Dean. She put it down as to the love she felt for the brothers Winchester and it made sense. She cried when they did, or wouldn’t shed a tear. She cried when they were in pain. She shared their small joys.

Sam sighed, knowing that she wasn’t going to go away. He heard what she said and replied, “But I always do. Not intentionally but I do.”

“Sam, if you really wanted to hurt me, you’d know how,” she pointed out. “Besides, we don’t always agree on things but we work it out. That is what marriage is. At least to me.”

Sam finally turned around and looked at her. She was looking at him with that same pointed look that could turn into the look that he hated above all else. It was the one that said that she wanted to talk and they were going to and it would either be easy way or hard way; it was dealer’s choice, meaning his. He sighed, “But… I’m really… really angry.”

“I am too.”

Sam couldn’t help but laugh at that. It was a wry one. “Really?”

“Oh yes. I’m still mad at the whole nymph thing but I’m working on forgiveness,” she replied. She then added, “And I’m angry at Billie, the Empty, Chuck, the fact that I had to fix the washing machine again…” She looked at Sam. “What makes you angry now?”

Sam had to give her credit. She should have been a shrink, or probably was one at some point. “You should have been a shrink,” he voiced out loud.

“I was… once. Still am.” Angela gave a slight smile at that.

Sam couldn’t help but smile with her. He sobered quickly though and said, “Just… everything.”

“If you are talking about the fact that Jack will die by going through Billie’s plan… I am just as upset. Every fibre of my being says that there has to be another way. Maybe it’s the mother in me,” Angela admitted. “Jack is like my own. I love him as I love Jess and I never blamed him for what happened to Mary.”

That had Sam look at her. He knew that she tried to direct her rage at the party that deserved it. She was prone to bouts of emotional outburst just like anyone else. The difference was that she tried and if she made a mistake, she tried to fix it. Even if it was a painful solution on her end.

Angela blinked and gave a sad smile, “I knew that Mary felt out of place here. And I knew that Jack was having issues with the no soul. I tried.” Her eyes started to tear. “So when I learned what happened, I wasn’t angry with him. I didn’t blame him.”

“You blamed yourself.”

Angela nodded, “I know when things are heavily my fault. That was on me, but I know how Jack feels. I know that what he wants the most is Dean’s forgiveness.” She sighed and said, “I know I should be full of frothing rage at Billie for this plan, but I am not. Pissed maybe, but…” She looked at Sam in the eye and finished, “But I know that this is probably the only way. I don’t like it and wish for another way, but…”

Sam didn’t need her to explain anymore. He gently interrupted, “I’m angry at Dean. I mean… I thought we were past this secret crap.”

Angela stared at Sam. She was prepared to let him vent. That was the trouble with the Winchester boys. They bottled it in and then it exploded and usually in a fistfight that didn’t really solve anything. This could be one of those times and was why she sought him out, to talk to him and get him to give voice to what he really was angry about. She voiced, “But it really hasn’t been addressed, has it?” She peered at Sam and waited for him to speak.

Sam looked at her a bit incredulous at her response, “What do you mean?”

“I mean that you say that you were past it but even the last few years harbored some secrets that… didn’t end well,” she pointed out. “I would say that rare fits of temper showed.”

Sam thought about it and realized what she was getting at. He countered, “I think this is different Angie. I mean this is Jack we are talking about. You said it yourself that you love him like Jess. And Dean… he sat on it. It’s like he doesn’t trust me.”

Angela was quiet as she watch the man she loved break down. She had learned long ago that sometimes you didn’t have to say anything. The silence did the talking for you.

“It’s not that I’m angry at what could happen to Jack. I actually don’t accept that. I’m angry that Dean didn’t tell me and we could have worked it out. I mean, that was how it was supposed to be.” Sam vented, knowing that he was probably going to say something that he would regret. “And I can’t believe he just swallowed it and he says that I wouldn’t be able to handle it?”

Angela looked at him. Finally she said, “You both are the same and yet very different.”

“What?” Sam stopped ranting and looked at her in puzzlement.

“You and Dean,” she replied, “Are the same but different. You both don’t like it that Jack is preparing to sacrifice himself for this and yet the difference is, that Dean resigned himself to doing what it takes. You… as he says… second guess. Both are not wrong.”

Sam blinked at that. Angela was never one to pick sides when it came to him and his brother. Unless, the other was deserving of it. “Then what is right?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted.

Sam turned away, feeling worse than before. He sighed and put his hands on his hips as he stared at nothing. He got the feeling that this conversation was fruitless.

“I don’t know, what is right in this case, because this is the best option before us. I hate it because someone has to die. I agree with it because Chuck needs to be stopped,” she said at Sam’s back. “You once asked me about why I degrade myself at times. This is why.

“Decisions like these, where it is the damned if you do and damned if you don’t. In the wars that I’ve been involved with… it was me that made those decisions. I had to literally tell someone that they had to die in order to save everyone. Sometimes it is taken from me but I’m the one responsible, the leader. The song is the same but the verse is different every time and it’s decisions like these that haunt me still. I may be whimsical at times but it is because I see the larger picture, how precious life is. It pains me that Jack is willing to do this.”

Sam had closed his eyes as he listened to her. She rarely told about her life before them and it was always a treat when it was about when she was a child. She never liked to talk about when she fought in wars or those moments in history that they teach in school.

“If you want to know, I think Dean was stupid for not saying something, but I understand his reasons. And maybe… he just didn’t know how to say it. To me it was taken out of his hands when Billie showed up; he was forced to tell you and he was willing to get you pissed from it.” Angela sighed and looked down. “I know you are angry, but Dean is angry too and deep down, you are the same as with me: scared of the unknown with this plan.”

It was like a shot to the heart when she said that. It was the truth though. Sam was scared and his reaction was anger. Dean did the same. It just hurt that Dean seemed to think that he couldn’t handle it. How was he to know if he wasn’t told the pros and cons of everything? A part of him saw that this was Dean’s old way of protecting him, but in the end, that wore thin and ended up with them becoming estranged for a while.

Angela stared at her husband’s back. She had said what needed to be said. She left Sam alone to think more about what was said. Time to find Dean and have a talk. She smiled slightly as she remembered the first time she had to do this. She ended up scaring and impressing Dean at the same time, but the point was driven home. Ten years later, she was doing it again. Some things didn’t change.

Sam turned around to find that Angela had gone as quietly as she came. He could still smell her scent in the room and sighed. She had made her point and while he was still reluctant to talk to his brother, he knew that he was going to have to eventually. And that talk would need to include Jack. It now made sense why Castiel left when he did. The angel knew and was going to try and find another way, but Sam got the sinking feeling that it wasn’t going to be the case.

Feeling a little less angry, Sam left the room and when to walk through the bunker. He ended up running into Dean in the kitchen. He stared at his brother and Dean stared back at him. Neither one of them said anything since neither of them knew what to say. After all, ‘I’m sorry’ was used so much that they both asked the question: did that mean anything anymore?


	17. 15.17 Unity Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angela knows she is going to have to start thinking like a tactician and she faces down Chuck while Amara is holding him in the bunker. Tag to Unity.

Angela was always about finding the best choice to execute, especially when someone’s life was at stake. In this case, not only was a life at stake, but heart and souls of the people she held dear. She was all for stopping Chuck, but more that they went with Billie’s plan, the more she began to have doubts about it. She voiced them but this latest with Dean withholding the fact that Jack would die…

She realized that she would have to start thinking like a tactician. That ended up with her in the bunker with a leashed Chuck and a desperate Amara. And things weren’t going so well.

“Humans? They disappoint you every time. Break your heart.”

Angela narrowed her eyes and said, “You manipulative bastard.”

Chuck looked at her in anger, “And what about you? How many have you manipulated to your own ends?”

Angela stood there with a firm expression. Her eyes were narrowed as she looked at him. “I am not going to lie that I have done my fair share. The difference between you and me is that I don’t do it for my own pleasure. Everything I do is for them.”

Chuck shook his head, “You’re just as selfish. Don’t think you’re going to try and convince Amara.”

Angela didn’t look at Amara. There wasn’t a point to it. In the end, decisions would be made and they would go from there. And she prided on the fact that she gave people the choice. “I am selfish. I am selfish because I value life so much to the point that I look for the possibility of saving most if not all with the hope that I save all.”

Chuck shook his head at her. “Why do you even bother? How many times have you been betrayed? By Dean himself?” He turned and gestured at her. “I mean you know better than anyone how well he can lie with a smile.”

Angela stared at Chuck. She knew full well Dean’s capabilities. The hurtful words and actions they dished out to each other over the years was proof of that. She knew he was a liar in most things, but he had a good heart. She knew that Amara was listening for her answer.

Chuck took the silence as something else and gestured at her, “See, Amara. Even she can’t deny that Dean has lied to her too. This is the way that all humans are. Not to mention her since she is half a human.” He said it meanly to emphasize the point.

“I am not denying but I’m not acknowledging either,” Angela said, not looking in Amara’s direction. She didn’t have to look at anyone but she did look down at the ground. “Dean and humans do lie at times to get what they want. Dean though…” She looked and at Chuck with a narrowed look, “While intending to be deceiving, he has his reasons. Now being anger at you Chuck and when emotional it becomes misplaced.”

“You must be desperate to play that,” Chuck sneered. He folded his arms over his chest.

“Never desperate for truth.” Angela looked at Chuck. She could feel her jaw quiver as she could feel the turmoil of emotions from Sam. She had a pretty good idea of what was going on right now. “You created me. You should know what I am capable of.”

Chuck stared at her before scoffing at her. He looked at Amara and said, “What is the point? We can be together. We only look out for each other.”

Angela watched as Amara had been pacing. No doubt she probably felt betrayed because of what Dean said. Celestial beings had little to no understanding of human duplicity or intentions and tended to see things in black and white. She watched as the darkness stared at Chuck.

“I know… not all of you are the same,” Amara said. Her voice trembled as she addressed Angela. “But in the end, you will protect what matters the most to you.”

“That is true. And everyone that I have no connection with,” Angela said.

“And that is why I know everyone is safe in your hands.” Amara gave a sad smile at Angela. It then sobered quickly and seemed to take on a cold expression. “But I cannot help you. Not anymore.”

“Are you referring to me or to Dean?”

“Maybe both. You did know after all.”

“I knew enough about a plan that would cost the life of the boy that was like a son to me. To be honest, I warned them not to poke the hornet’s nest when they went to see you.” Angela glanced back at Amara but never fully turning her back on Chuck.

“And you still let them.” Amara looked at Angela before walking towards Chuck. She held out her hand to her brother. There was the slightest hint of tears in her eyes.

“Come on,” Chuck beckoned.

Angela turned enough to look at the pair of them. “I have a principle and that is to never tell anyone what to do when faced with a choice. We all have choices.” Angela blinked slowly, “Just know that this choice you make… Chuck is the goal to be destroyed. Make that choice… you become a part of that goal too. Seems counterproductive.”

Angela stared at Amara. The woman had paused for a moment to listen. It seemed like an eternity before Amara took Chuck by the hand and the two became one. Angela didn’t run away but merely looked on in sadness. She didn’t want it to come to this. She could sense Dean’s pain and anger and Sam’s pleading, his heart on his sleeves. It was too little, too late.

Chuck was taking a moment to adjust to having absorb Amara before he turned to look at her. He smirked, “See? I’m going to get the story I want.”

“Everyone gets what they deserve. It’s the nature of karma.”

Chuck growled in annoyance, “Must you always be so philosophical. None of the other yous from the other worlds were as annoying as you.”

“I’m surprised at that. I knew I didn’t exist at all in one except in a story.” Angela looked blandly at Chuck.

“That is the point. They look like you and maybe on occasion act like you but they aren’t YOU! They are a piss poor copy of you.” Chuck looked at her in annoyance. “Couldn’t even hold up as I was getting rid of other worlds.” He paced angrily in front of her. “And do you know why?”

Angela watched him pace. She didn’t answer. He didn’t seem to expect one and it seemed to be an unusual turn of events after what just happened.

Unfortunately, that seemed to make Chuck angrier. He turned to look at her as he ranted, “I tried. I duplicated the process but it didn’t happen. The soul didn’t split. I can see them but not you. Not what you plan to do and it is pissing me off. You are a failure.”

“If I am such a failure, why did you keep me around?”

“To see the story played out and yet time and time again, you don’t play the story,” Chuck said. He had gotten close enough to probably harm her though since he was God, he could do anything if he had the inclination. “You were supposed to fight both brothers and yet…” He sighed in exasperation. “Where did I go wrong?” He turned and walked away as he tried to puzzle it out.

Angela stood there. She replied, “You may have been perfect but you underestimated one thing.”

“And what is that?”

“Free will. The ability to choose.” Angela looked at Chuck hard in the eye. “True you set the boys on this path. A push here. A nudge there. They came close, but in the end, they _decided_ and made the choice on what mattered the most. The same I would make.”

“You, were never supposed to be like this. Your time in hell should have cured you of that.” Chuck threw it out there, exasperated.

“Hell broke me,” Angela said, “But it also made me. You forget I am part human. The human condition… determination grows and gets stronger in the face of adversity.” She looked at Chuck as he turned away angrily again. “You may have set the pieces in motion and maybe Dean’s rage will win out and a fight ensues, but they won’t do what you say will happen.”

“It will happen,” Chuck turned as he pointed at her. “This story will be told the way I want it.”

“No it won’t.

At that moment, there seemed to be a change in the air. Angela sensed it. It was Dean relenting. Sam was pleading and telling the truth, the one truth he held onto. She knew that they would never go through with it now. She looked at Chuck and knew he could sense it. “I told you. You may find humans boring, but they can surprise you. Even when it seems like it is the only choice, they surprise you.”

Chuck was clearly pissed. Angela knew that it would be a fight on their hands now. At least the baby was safe. She would have to let Sam know but Jess would be safe while they finished this. She looked at Chuck and added, “You should know the Winchesters by now.”

“You’re right.”

Angela didn’t see it as she was knocked backwards with an intense force. She shattered the door to the room as she flew through it into the hall. She hit the ground hard and skidded along the ground. She could barely make out the voices of Sam, Dean and Jack calling out to her. She winced from a stinging pain in her leg as she looked in the direction she had come from.

“You did it again.”


	18. 15.18 Light's Despair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What words can be said after a friend gives everything so you can live? Angela knows this better than anyone as she stays with Dean in the aftermath of Castiel's demise. Tag to Despair.

_There is no despair so absolute as that which comes with the first moments of our first great sorrow, when we have not yet known what it is to have suffered and be healed, to have despairs and have recovered hope. –_ George Eliot

Angela stood there looking down at the man who held her up above all others. He was the foundation of everything; what gave her courage and strength and above else, the love of family. She stared at him, feeling the pain and emptiness as surely as what she felt on her shoulder. Tears were silently starting to fall from her eyes.

It had always been Dean.

Sam Winchester may have been the love of her life and that saw her through many things. His care and an affection kept her in balance. More of that soul twin talk and it was things that were hard to put into words. Just the insistence that they were family and even more so with their daughter. Dean… was different.

She could never love Dean like she loved Sam and he agreed, but she loved him. She loved him and would bleed for him, take the blame, shed tears and even die for him. It was something that couldn’t be put into words always but actions did the talking. She and Dean understood each other on a level that Sam really couldn’t and yet it never caused a rift.

It was once put to her that she was the balance of both Winchesters. The one that brought the extremes into balance. Maybe it was true with the times in which she stopped fights before they began or jumped in when a fight was underway. To her, it was just being there for two brothers who, while spoke the same language, could have different meanings entirely.

Angela winced as she shifted. Her leg was still sore after a piece of the door stabbed her in the thigh. She hadn’t been able to help much with the plan but she tried. It made her decide to use her magic again, something she didn’t think she would ever do. True, she could cast spells and the like but full on magic like what Rowena would do… There was no time for qualms having realized that this was a fight that would take everything in the arsenal.

The sobbing drew her attention and Angela opened her mouth, but no sound came out. What words could she say? What words would ease the torrent of pain that was coming off Dean like a thick cape? What words could reinforce what she always saw in Dean and what Castiel had put so… poignantly? She doubted there was such words.

Dean was well aware that she was standing there. She had been standing there since the Empty came and took Castiel and Billie away. He felt guilty for it since he knew she had been injured courtesy of Chuck. She hid it well but he knew that she was limping along, putting her pain aside to figure out what was going on and help them. One more piece of truth to the lies, or was it truth, Castiel said to him.

_You see yourself the same way our enemies do._

It was the truth. He was angry and destructive and broken. How many times had he shown weariness at the whole thing? How many times had he scored a victory but it was trampled upon by the very thing they were fighting against?

_And you think that hate and anger that’s… that’s what drives you. That’s who you are._

It was what he was. He wanted to get Chuck. He was so angry that he didn’t care who got hurt. He pulled a gun on Sam and he lied about Jack. His feelings that is. He had hurt everybody that was supposed to mean something to him time and again. It was…

“He only said what I’ve been trying to show you the last decade or so.”

Dean looked up at Angela. He didn’t say anything but looked away, almost defiantly. It certainly made his point clear enough what he thought. He ignored his phone even when Sam called.

“You really are a selfless and loving human.”

Dean almost jumped when he felt her hand on his head. Her hand trailed down to caress his cheek. He realized that she was kneeling in front of him. She was looking at him with a sad expression but full of empathy. He looked away abruptly, “I’m not that. That’s you.”

Angela rested her forearms on her knees as she kneeled while looking at him. The pain in her thigh was burning, but it was nothing. “I’m not human.”

“You know what I mean.”

The gruff tones no longer put her off. She sighed and looked at him. “It was always you Dean.”

Dean didn’t look at her. He just buried his head in his hands and started sobbing. He didn’t protest when he felt Angela sit beside him and pull him into her. He grabbed onto her arm and sobbed into her shoulder.

Angela just sat there as he sobbed into her arms. There really were no words to say. If there were anything, they were swallowed up by the tears that they were shedding. She held Dean in her arms like she was soothing a little boy, letting him cry into her shoulder. She rested her head on his and just let him cry. After all, what words can be said when absolution was given by a person who would do anything for those he cared about?


	19. 15.19 Inherit the Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Chuck now human, Jack brought back everyone he took from the world, including the one who had been a mother to him. They were free and he is at peace. Tag to Inherit the Earth.

“Papa!”

Jack smiled as he watched as Angela set down her daughter and the little girl charged to hug her father. That was another good thing he could do. He could finally earn his forgiveness.

He had felt the despair from Sam and Dean when they realized that everyone in the world was gone, including Angela. It had been a bit of a shock since Chuck had always claimed her to be a favorite. Instead, he punished the Winchesters by taking her away along with Jess. That had been devastating to Sam.

Jack didn’t like seeing what was happening to Sam. It was close to what it was like when she left to go and find Dean when Michael took over him. Yet, this time it was different. It had Jack wonder if it was like when their father lost their mother. He didn’t know how to express his feelings about the loss of his own mother. He was glad that he got to see her even if it was in heaven.

With the world empty of people, it gave Jack time to think. He thought about everything. The things he had done, with and without his soul. The guilt he still felt regarding Mary.

_I’ve done a lot of things, Jack. Terrible things that haunt me still. Things that I can’t bear to speak of to Sam and Dean. I carry it with me every day and I hope that each day I can do something right._

He remembered Angela, his adoptive mother, telling him that at one point. It was when he was realizing that he had gotten his soul back. All he wanted was the Winchester’s forgiveness, Dean especially. She sensed it and tried to help.

Jack smiled at the memory. He looked at all the people that he had brought back. He was understanding what the Winchesters, Castiel, and Angela had been trying to tell him. Each had done it in their own way, and it shaped who he was today.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen that smile.”

Jack smiled at Angela, “I think it’s because I finally understand what you meant. How… precious life is. Chuck didn’t really see that.”

“I’m glad… and proud of you.” Angela then chuckled and gestured at her person, “Was this outfit your idea?”

Jack gave his adorable smile. “It is how I see you every day,” he finally said. “No matter what. And… it suits you.”

Angela smiled at him and like always pulled him into a hug. It had always been like that. Jack had never felt as welcomed as he did with her. From day one, she accepted him. That had never changed even after everything that had happened when he lost his soul. Even then, she let Jess near him. He will always be grateful for that.

“You’re leaving aren’t you?”

Jack looked at her. She always seemed to know. Sometimes she explained how, other times… “How do you know, Mother?”

“Something told me,” she replied with a shrug and a smile. “Not everything I know is because of what I am. More of… who I am.”

Jack frowned a bit as he tried to understand, “Because… you’re… Mother.” He looked at her.

“You could say that.”

“And you’re not angry?”

“Why should I be?”

“You, Sam and Dean… you raised me. Castiel raised me.” Jack looked at her.

“And you are doing what every parent hopes for their child: to find their way,” she replied with a smile. “I am not angry. A little sad, but proud.”

“I am not going to interfere. That was Chuck’s mistake.”

“And you don’t need to tell me. I know you’ll do the right thing,” she said.

Jack looked at her as she smiled at him before walking towards the Winchesters. No expectations, just… Jack knew he would never understand everything about her. She was different from most people. He liked to think that his mother was like her, but that wasn’t exactly true since he got to meet her.

He watched as Sam pulled Angela into a hug along with his daughter. As he did, he felt happy seeing that. It helped to make sense why Angela said what she said and did things the way she did. She understood, and now he did, how precious life was and how the small moments made the difference. He looked around before walking towards the Winchesters. It would be hard telling them he was not going home with them, but they would understand.

Jack felt at peace. He had given them the one thing that they deserved. They were finally free.


	20. 15.20 Carry on My Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of an era has come but we all know that the story never really ends. Tag to Carry On.

_November 19, 2050_

_Time is constant, the only thing that makes sense. Time is the Ultimate diary. He sees life from every being that has lived and died. A testimony to Life._

_I once saw time as a curse. I was born the daughter of a human mother and a vampire father. I was given the gift and curse of being a human and a monster; a dhampir. I thought it was a punishment, seeing people live their lives, not knowing about the hidden world I'm from._

_Time was a cruel master to me. To this day I can remember every single triumph and failure. Some more painful. In the end, it serves to remind us of the things that made life so good. A lesson I give credit to the two most important men in my life._

_What started as a promise grew beyond just looking after the Winchester brothers. Bonds that started in friendship, grew into bonds of family. I was able to live again._

_Dean was the big brother I never had. While I was technically the oldest, he was older and wiser in the things that mattered. He looked out for me as he did his brother. He never thought he was strong, but I knew better. He had strength that saw him through hell, purgatory, the Mark, darkness and the chaos of Chuck. Even when he felt broken, he stayed with us. He did the best he could, and I couldn't be prouder of him. Like Gabriel, he was and ever more shall be mio fratello. It was okay for him to go._

_Sam was the chaos in my life. In his gentle and persistent way, he found the chinks in the armor around my heart. I will admit he did it when I saw him as a baby. Eventually, it became clear that what I was searching for was him. We may share a soul, but our love was very real. It was because of that love that I went to hell with him, fought to save his soul from the demons that manipulated him, let him pour his soul when in despair. I ended up giving him more grief and warned him, but he stayed. He stayed and won my heart and soul._

_Together we took on the world. Saving people, hunting things. The family business..._

_I always knew one of us would die on the job. In truth, all three of us have died multiple times. When we were finally freed from Chuck's machinations, I knew. Maybe I cursed us by waiting for the other shoe to drop or the ground to literally fall from under our feet. In the end, I proved myself right._

_I sometimes wondered if Sam resented me for following through with Dean's request to not use my abilities to heal him that night. I often blamed myself for not getting there on time after making sure the kids were safe. I asked myself why I didn't call for Kess. It haunted me because I was the one that had to explain to Jess why her uncle wasn't coming home._

_I was reassured by Sam. He showed me that he didn't blame me. We saved each other as we've always done. We held each other up and Haley when we told her. In that moment, we truly felt the meaning of that declaration so long ago: always and forever._

_Time became our healing balm as we left the bunker and took Jess and struck out on our own. We made our own normal as we welcomed our son Dean Zeppelin the following year and then three years later the twins JR and Ellie. We built our own normal that included school, sports, PTA as well as magic, weapons training and lore. We also had the added bonus of raising Wilders; a joke that became a source of income._

_Sam and I lived a good life together. We can both attest to that. We have our family, our children and their significant others. We know that they will be okay even when we had our moments of sadness because Dean couldn't share it with us; that he would never know that Haley had been pregnant when he died and gave birth to a beautiful girl named Kayla. Maybe she told him when she passed two years ago. I have hope. Always did._

_I am not sorry that our time is near. Sam and I did as promised, and that was to live. I kept mine especially to Sam. He made me promise to live so long ago and I did. Where he was, I was. I lived when I was with him. Even as our time grows short, I will never leave him._

_I don't worry for my children. I know they will be fine. Sam and I taught them well. They have gone out and made their mark on the world. It is the greatest gift a parent could have._

_As I sit here writing my last words, I feel a sense of contentment. I don't fear death and I won't be alone dying. No fears and no regrets. I leave my children the words their father and I lived by for that is time's mark on us all._

_Always and forever._

~0~0~0~0~

Jess finished reading the last words of her mother and glanced at her brother Dean as he tried not to cry as he rubbed the tattoo on his forearm. Their youngest siblings John Robert and Ellen Jo were sniffing.

"Mom really knows how to say things," Dean said.

"It feels like she is still here," Ellen Jo added.

Jess listened to her siblings as she shifted to look at her parents. They looked peaceful, like they were asleep even though they had just passed. Just as she always saw them even when her father's health failed.

She knew, hell all of them knew that their parents were going to die together. She remembered living in the bunker and the scary and sad times, but what stood out was the level of devotion her parents had for one another and she remembered her "Unca Dean." They would be happy where they went, and they would be together

"So, what do we do now, Jess?"

Jess looked at Dean. Her expression turned into that firm one her mother had used. Her hazel green eyes danced with mischief. "We've got work to do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While Supernatural is over, it doesn't mean that the Chronicles verse is over. There will be other stories and the main series is still being worked on. I love all of you in the Supernatural Family. Let is Carry On together. Thanks to Jensen and Jared for being the soul of inspiration of an incredible fandom.


End file.
